Step 13) After scoping out our seats, the Security for our section, and the dancing queen sitting across the aisle from us (seriously, the girl had moves!), we headed off to find a restroom and get a little something to eat to keep our strength up. We found the restrooms and what looked like was normally a Men's Restroom that had a sign on the outside that said Women's Restroom. Annette didn't notice the sign so she kept walking but I turned to go into the restroom, thinking that perhaps they had realized their audience would be mainly women and had converted the men's restroom into a women's for the evening. So I went ahead and walked in. Only to discover a wall of urinals and a couple of male backsides facing me!! Because I'm very discreet, I screamed, covered my eyes, and ran out. I don't think anyone noticed. We're pretty sure someone thought it would be a funny practical joke, and it would've been if I'd been the one to think of it.
Step 14) The lights went down, the crowd went wild and then some crazy dancers in masks came out. I called them the tribe but I believe their official name was Jabbawockeez, they were the opening act. Let me just say this, I WAS TERRIFIED. A little known fact about me is that I'm scared of people in masks, clowns, the guy from Scream, Jason, mimes, whatever, if their face is covered, I think they are a murderer. It's an issue I have. As if it weren't bad enough that there were 8 dancers on stage with these creepy white mime looking masks on but then they unveiled their set and it was a GIANT creepy mask. It's the stuff nightmares are made of.
The only redeeming quality they had is that they did an 80's dance music montage that included "Ice, Ice, Baby", "Baby Got Back", and "The Right Stuff". I peeked thru my fingers at them while they did that one. I figured they couldn't kill anyone while dancing to New Kids and Vanilla Ice right?
Step 15) When that was finally over, which wasn't soon enough, the lights went up and they began to prep the stage for NKOTB. To help pass the time we went and socialized with Twin Soul Amanda and Kim who had won tickets to the show. They went the opposite wardrobe route that we did and went all out 80's, crimped hair, leg warmers....AWESOME.
Step 16) Made it back to our seats and went into irregular cardiac rhythms every time the lights dimmed because we thought it was going to start. We had a moment of silence, did some deep breathing, photo documented the moment, and when the lights finally did go down, we LOST. OUR. MINDS. It was the longest intro song ever known to man and the anticipation of NKOTB appearing before us in the flesh on stage was almost more than we could handle. I don't think I took a breath from the time the lights went down til they rose from the top of the stage. It was a religious experience. Pretty sure God is a New Kids fan.
Step 17) Lost feeling in my eardrums from the deafening noise that the crowd made the ENTIRE time the New Kids performed. Of course, Annette and I, being the quiet, straight-laced, reserved type just clapped politely. Oh wait, that was the guy next to us who brought his girlfriend and who wore a look of bewilderment and terror the entire time. You bet Annette and I were right there with the other 4,000+ thirty something ladies reliving their youth. It was glorious and totally worth the cost of the hearing aids we are now being fitted for.
Step 18) Passed out when Jordan Knight (my NKOTB husband) sang “Baby, I Believe In You” to ME and ripped his shirt open, exposing his well muscled abs and chest. . After that song, although I’m not a smoker I had to have a cigarette. BABY did I ever BELIEVE HIM! Holy moly. (Note to my church friends and family: yes go ahead and start the prayer chain, this is just the beginning.) And yes, he sang it directly to me. It was fairly obvious with the eye contact and pointing he did, regardless of what the other women that were there think. To Jordan : I believe in you too. And yes, I will be the mother of your beautiful children, we just have to figure out how to tell GI Joe and not go to hell for it. Loving You Forever, The Prairie Princess
Step 19) While still slightly unstable from Jordan ’s declaration of love to me, Joey did a solo bit…and I died again. Joey never really had that effect on me back in junior high, probably because I only had eyes for Jordan . But Joey has grown up and CAN SING. When he dropped to his knees on the stage and was pouring his heart out in song, I leaned over to Annette and said “I think I love Joey too”,she agreed. Must be the eyes.
Step 20) Then Donnie, knowing his greatest admirer Annette was in the audience, sang her a little song called, “Cover Girl”. Then I used my defibulator skills to revive Annette and help her off the floor. That’s the kind of friends we are.
(L-r: Donnie, Joey, Jordan I think it's pretty easy to see that Donnie and Jordan only have eyes for Annette and I, I mean they are looking RIGHT AT US. And Joey, oh Joey...)
Step 21) Admired the skills of the crazy women dancing on their chairs around us. Especially those that were SOOO good that they fell right off of their chairs and onto the floor. Oh and by admired I mean laughed hysterically, don’t worry they weren’t hurt. Although it would’ve served them right if they had been since they were blocking our view.
Step 22) Enjoyed the fact that for once in our concert-going lives, the Security Guards were not reprimanding us. They were much too busy yelling at the drunken chair dancers and the wannabe paparazzi trying to sneak closer to the stage to take pictures. They didn’t say a word when towards the end of the show I whipped out the posterboard sign that we’d been keeping on the DL (down low). I am certain I saw Donnie reading it from the stage but he read it again later as well. We’ll get to that eventually……
That’s all for today folks. I’m pacing myself as I haven’t quite been feeling up to par since the concert. It’s a non-alcoholic NKOTB concert hangover, the medical term for it is NKOTB Nemosis. All I want to do is take some ibuprofen, turn on the NKOTB tunes, look at the 300+ pictures I took at the concert, and cry because it’s officially over. Someone please send help.
The final installment will be posted tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll have regained my strength and will to live by then.
But let's be honest, didn't I blow your mind already?