Monday, April 20, 2009

Cow Challenge

I have just completed Day 8 of the 30 day Cow Challenge. What IS the Cow Challenge you ask? The Cow Challenge is a simple challenge GI Joe issued me in response to my repeated request for a cow. A real live pet cow. You see I’ve wanted a cow long before I ever became the Prairie Princess, maybe even dating back to my “urban days”. It’s really all I’ve ever wanted in the way of livestock. GI Joe accuses me of crying “cow” so to speak as apparently I’ve used the “all I’ve ever wanted” line before ex: “All I’ve ever wanted is emus…All I’ve ever wanted is bunnies…All I’ve ever wanted is fainting goats” you get the idea. But REALLY all I’ve I’ve ever wanted was a pet cow. I was thrilled when we moved out to the boondocks and I discovered that the pasture behind our house was full of the neighbor’s cows and sometimes they would come right up to the fence in our backyard. Within the first month of my newfound country living, I was outside one morning in my silk PJ’s trying to pet a cow, bribing them to come closer with a piece of bread. Aren’t cows Wonder kids too? Unfortunately, my attempt was successful only in scattering the herd and making GI Joe laugh, not so much for petting the cows. I've tried many times since then to pet the cows that roam our pasture but they always seem to elude me, whatever anti-social cows, you'll be sorry when you're next to the baked potato on my plate.
GI Joe regales us with stories of his youth when they had cattle (not for pets of course) and he bottle raised a Jersey calf that became his loyal friend. His calf, Champ, would hear the bus pull up after school and would be waiting at the fence for GI Joe. In spite of the fond memories he has of raising cows (except for when he came home from school and Champ wasn't waiting for him as he had been taken to the market), he's been adamant about not getting a cow for the Koons Zoo. No matter how much I've begged and pleaded, the answer was always the same, "No, blah, blah, blah." He always gave me some completely illogical reason that I didn't buy. Really, I think he was just traumatized by the whole Champ experience and not willing to give his heart to another cow. But let's keep that between us as that wouldn't fare well for his tough guy image.

But my persistence has paid off once again, and I've finally cracked him. Kind of. A few weeks ago when I launched into my "Why I NEED a Cow/All I Want for My Birthday is a Cow" speech, his rebuttal was "That's one more animal for me to feed and take care, since you've been slacking a bit on the chores lately." Well excuse me, I've been very busy with things like blogging, NKOTB concerts, and eating Reese's eggs. Besides, he's been working from home quite a bit so he'd have them all done by our normal chore time, after I got home from work. He said "If you take care of the animals all by yourself for the next year you can get a cow." Obviously, a year is way too long for the Prairie Princess to wait for anything so I compromised and said "How about a week?" To which he responded "No way, a year." Finally, we met in the middle and agreed upon a month. Meaning, if I successfully complete the challenge (which I will), I will get a cow for my birthday. Happy Bovine Birthday to Me!!!

As I do whenever we add a new animal to the zoo, I investigate and learn everything I possibly can about the species. Usually, GI Joe already has a good handle on it from his farm boy upbringing but I like to be in the know as well.

Things you may not have known about our bovine friends but that I dug up in my extensive research in preparation for my victory in the Cow Challenge:

*A girl cow will not produce milk unless she’s been pregnant. P.S. Contrary to popular belief (mainly me in my formative Prairie Princess years) male dairy cows CANNOT be milked even though they are dairy cows, their role is mainly to help in "making" future dairy cows. It’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it I guess.

*Back in the olden (is that really a word?) days people soaked their feet in fresh cowpies to cure athlete’s foot, smeared it on their heads to inhibit baldness, and caked it on injuries to draw out infection. EWWWWWWWWWW…I would’ve never survived as a Little House on the Prairie Era Princess.

*Cows have four compartment stomachs that allow them to eat their food then hunker down, bring it back up as cud and rechew it for fun. I’m so glad us humans have things like blogs and the Wii to keep us entertained.

*A cow can be lead upstairs, but it is impossible to lead a cow downstairs, because a cow’s knees can’t bend properly to walk down. So much for the 3 story Cow Casa I wanted to have GI Joe build, oooh unless we put an elevator in it. Hmmm……

*A heifer is a)me after Easter and eating 16 bags of Reese's eggs or b)a female calf who has never been pregnant? Both answers are correct. However, I would not recommend calling me a Heifer to my face.

8 days down, 22 to go. Wish me luck! I'm already working on possible cow names. Here's the list so far.....Holy and Brown Chicken Brown. What can I say? It's a short list, I've been too busy doing chores and stuff. Other suggestions welcomed. But I gotta tell you those 2 will be hard to beat.
In closing, I'll leave you with a picture of my motivation, my inspiration, what keeps me going in rain, snow, and wind, in sickness and in health...

I'm in love........

No comments:

Post a Comment