Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Walkin' After Midnight

Wanna know what we do for entertainment out here on the prairie after the kids go to bed? NO, NOT THAT! Well that too, but that's not what I'm talking about, this is a family blog. Seriously people keep it clean. :)

Many a night, after the kids have gone to bed, GI Joe and I curl up on the couch, watch a little TV, and wait for our boys to provide our evening entertainment...while sleeping. They both tend to sleep talk AND sleep walk and because we're us ,we don't just put them back to bed. Oh no, we mess with them and it is oh so fun!

It all started with Blade yelling in his room one night about passing the football. We went in his room to see what the problem was and he was frantically trying to find the non existent football in his bed, all the while wearing a very vacant stare. GI Joe very excitedly said to him "Pass me the football Blade! Pass me the ball!" Blade acted as if he were about to make the Super Bowl winning play when he picked up the imaginary football and threw it to GI Joe. Then he promptly laid back down and was fast asleep. Ever since then anytime Blade starts talking in his sleep (which is quite frequently) GI Joe tries to play football with him.

The problem is contagious as Ryder has now started doing it. One night we heard crying and fighting coming from their room. We stood outside the door and listened to them both adamantly telling the other to be quiet and that "it" was their fault. We went in and after GI Joe asked them both to toss him the football (seriously) we tried asking them questions to figure out what triggered the episode. We were thinking that one of them was surely awake and coherent and started the whole thing. Not so much. They were both totally and completely out of it. We never did figure out what "it" was. Talk about sibling rivalry, they even fight in their SLEEP!

They really outdid themselves recently though. Blade got up and was wandering around aimlessly with that blank look in his eyes. GI Joe asked him what he was doing and Blade said he had to go potty really bad. GI Joe steered him in the direction of the bathroom. A few seconds later he went in to check on him and Blade was standing on the stepstool PEEING IN THE SINK! Ewwwww!!!!! All of the commotion caused Ryder to stir because as we were dealing w/ the sink crisis he started wandering the house also sportin' the glazed over look. GI Joe asked him if he also had to go potty and he just shook his head and started walking towards the front door. Typically, we don't make our children go outside to go the bathroom, although given the boys' aim sometimes it's tempting. But for some reason he was headed outside to go potty, so again we took the high route. Which of course was to open the door and say in the voice reserved for the dogs "Ryder go potty?!" Seriously you guys, he was halfway out the door until the cold air hit him and woke him up just enough to realize it was awfully chilly for a bathroom. In an effort to redeem ourselves as parents, GI Joe and I then got up off the floor from laughing and took him to the real bathroom and then tucked him snugly back into bed. We're not total monsters.

Almost as enjoyable as playing imaginary football with them and sending them outside to go the bathroom is teasing them the next morning. They never believe us and have no memory of doing any of the things they do. One of these nights I'm going to video it for proof and also to show at their graduation right next to their naked baby bathtub pictures.

Wonder if they'll grow out of it? I did, GI Joe did NOT, but that's a post for another day. I can tell you one thing, the "I must've been sleepwalking" just isn't gonna fly when they are 16 and we find them at a girlfriend's house in the middle of the night. So fughettabout it boys. I've used every line in the book and if it didn't work for me it's definitely not working for you.

Sleep tight and don't let the footballs bite!


  1. FUNNY! Make sure you tell GI Joe's sleepwalking stories at some time!

  2. You and GI Joe are my kind of parents! Weren't they put on this planet to make you laugh? :)