Wednesday, June 17, 2009

He's Baaaaaack!

GI Joe is BACK! I'm blogging in solitude as I've handed over the parental reins to him for the evening. I'm taking a much deserved breather. Single parents out there I would just like to say this to you....I don't know how you do it. 'Nuf said.

Remember when I predicted what would take place in GI Joe's absence? Let's see how I did shall we? Come on it will be fun (now that I've survived it.)

Here were my predictions from the blog post before he left.

*I will run out of gas and/or have a flat tire.-Crisis averted as I have awesome guy friends. One who pumped my gas for me and when he unscrewed the gas cap and we heard a "whooooosh" sound escaping from my tank refrained from lecturing me at great length. And the other who went out and checked my tires at work when I told him they felt "weird" and "loose". Thanks Doug & McDreamy you guys rock! I still cannot figure out why you are still single. Single ladies, me!

*One of the zoo animals will die or be injured.-Sadly, this one was accurate. The baby turkeys who once resided in our bathroom kicked the bucket. Cause of death is still undetermined because believe it or not I did actually feed them. I'm just glad that no other animal suffered a similar fate because there may have been a few days where I MAY have forgotten to feed them. Oops. It's alright they were starting to look a little chubby.

The inside cats and dogs might possibly starve to death since he's the only one that remembers to feed them.-I'm happy to report this did NOT occur. Not because I remembered to feed them but because they took it upon themselves to make sure they were well fed by swiping anything left out on the counter or table unattended for greater than 2 minutes. Turns out Akala and Moose also enjoy Ramen noodles and hot dogs. Who knew?!?

Inevitably I will lose my wallet containing my checkbook and debit card and be forced to go to the bank. And it goes without saying that the bank drive thru is no place for the Princess Mobile.-While I did accidentally leave my main debit card at home when we went on our weekend getaway and suffered a minor panic attack when I realized it was at home, I was able to survive without selling any of the children. Although believe me it crossed my mind, remember the alien invasion?

Either myself or one of the kids will become ill, knowing my luck probably all of us and it will probably be the puking kind of sick.-The only kind of sick we were was of each other! Just kidding the kids and I thoroughly enjoyed our time w/out GI Joe bonding. We sat around each night holding hands and singing Kumbayah. It was precious.

*A rabid possum will probably take over the back deck.-Luckily, it wasn't a possum but there was a nasty tree frog sitting on one of the knobs for the grill when I went to turn it on. You can imagine my surprise and non delight when I discovered that. You can also imagine how loudly I screamed for Dakota to come and remove it from my sight immediately.

*I will get the four wheeler stuck.-I did one better and made it so it wouldn't even start. Don't worry GI Joe had it up and running within a few minutes of getting home.

*There will be a mouse in the house and a snake in the garden. I don't respond well to either of the above and will probably have to check us into a hotel. -No mouse in the house and I wouldn't know about the garden as I barely glanced at it the entire 2 weeks.

*Speaking of the garden, it's a goner too. -See above it's not looking so good. I think we'll be buying our produce at the farmer's market the rest of the summer.

*A major appliance will stop working. It can be the stove because I won't be cooking, just can't be the microwave because we need that to cook the Ramen noodles and Easy Mac that the kids are going to eat every night for supper. -I wouldn't know as Casey's pizza, Cheetos, and cereal didn't require appliances. No really, everything's working just fine, oh except for the AIR CONDITIONING. P.S. It was like 88 here today, 150% humidity. AWESOME! Did I mention I'm soooo glad GI Joe is home?

*I'll either gain 20 pounds from drowning my sorrows in Reese's or lose 20 pounds from my refusal to cook/Ramen noodle diet. I'm hoping for the latter obviously. -I'm pleading the 5th. But I will say that GI Joe managed to lose like 10 pounds during his time away. I kinda hate him for it.

*The yard will take on a jungle like appearance and the neighbors will think we're finally doing it, we're finally opening up a drive thru safari complete w/ a zebra, oh how I wish. I am completely capable of mowing the yard and enjoy it on occasion, however I have a tendency to run over metal objects that make the mower want to stop working. And without GI Joe here to fix it, I'm afraid it's a lost cause. -Boy, did I call this one or what? By Monday, even I was getting slightly embarrassed by the length of the grass in the yard so I thought I would try my hand at mowing it. The riding mower was out of commission before GI Joe left so I knew I'd have to suck it up and do at least the front yard with the push mower. Two rows in and the self propelled thingy majig stopped working. Possibly caused by the large branch I ran over, hard to say. I gave it my all to keep mowing w/out the self propelled but I am no spring chicken and that was just too much work. You'll be relieved to know that by the time I arrived home from work today GI Joe had fixed the mower AND mowed both the front and back yards. Have I mentioned I love my husband?

See I didn't do too bad? Even with the unexpected twist of the alien invasion of my children I came out with my sanity in tact (mostly) and the kids are still whole, healthy, and not living w/ new parents. And more importantly, I did NOT call Red Cross! Yay me!!! The battle is only half over though as he has to go for another 2 weeks later this summer and this time even further away. Don't worry I still have the Red Cross contact information and am not afraid to use it.

1 comment:

  1. GI Joe! GI Joe! Way to go! GI Joe! See? He's got a new cheer! :) Glad you have your whole family back.