In our house, prayers are said by the kids (and us too) every night before bed. I’ve decided I’m going to write a book called “Prayers from the Prairie Punks” full of excerpts from these prayers because oh my, pure comedic genius, and unintentional which makes it even better.
Ryder definitely inherited the “preacher genes” from his grandpas because his prayers are lengthy and winded and sometimes people doze off during them. No offense Dad and FIL. He thanks God for everything from the puzzle he put together yesterday to his friends to Holy Cow and the rest of the barnyard animals to his Pillow Pet to the supper he ate “cept for that gross stuff that Mommy ruined with mushrooms”. He’s more about the thank you’s than the requests which is refreshing. And in his sweet little Mickey Mouse voice? I’m a goner.
Blade on the other hand is more a man of few words. As he told me the other night, “God already knows what I’m going to say so why should I say it again out loud so you all can hear it?” Oh brother.
And Dakota falls somewhere in the middle, depending on the events of the day and the current temperature. For example, if it’s super cold outside she’ll spend a good 5 minutes praying for her outside kitties and animals that they are kept safe and warm and that the coyotes stay away and on and on and on and on……..Then she’ll gloss over her family, friends, blah blah blah and revisit the safety of the cats just in case God forgot in the 30 seconds she changed the subject.
Here are some excerpts that have had me muffling my laughter during bedtime prayers.
Blade: “Thank you for red gummy bears and for Dexter, my pug. Amen.” I’m sure God appreciates the clarification that he was referring to Dexter the pug and NOT Dexter the serial killer on FOX.
Dakota: “Thank you for 4H and for letting me learn lots about chickens and poultry. And help that one little chicken we have that I want to show win lots of ribbons.”
Ryder: “Thank for you the holidays.” One might think this was said during the Christmas season but alas this one just came up within the last week. By holidays I’m guessing he meant Christmas, his birthday and any other day that means they get the day off of school ie: MLK Day. Which coincidentally was the day he said this particular prayer.
Dakota: “Dear Jesus, Help Blade and Ryder to get better attitudes and to not play with my DS and make me lose my Pokemon.” God deals in Pokemon obviously. Also, isn’t there something about “getting the plank out of your own eye before pointing out the speck in someone else’s?” Just food for thought there Miss Dakota.
And last night’s hot topic?
All 3 (in various forms): “Thank for you Mommy NOT getting a ticket tonight and Dear Jesus, help Mommy to SLOW down.”