Giving a Calf a Bath

That totally sounds like a Dr. Seuss title doesn't it?  Hey, I don't think Dr. Seuss ever wrote about giving a calf a bath, I think I need to call my literary agent and get that going.  Oh wait, I don't have a literary agent.  Huh.

Anyway, giving a calf a bath.  It's glamorous.  It's not messy.  And Holy Cow completely enjoyed his pampering experience. 
And if you believe that I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona.  (Sidenote:  Do you know how long it took me to become suspicious enough of George Strait's claim of oceanfront property in Arizona before I finally looked at a map only to find THERE IS NO OCEANFRONT PROPERTY IN ARIZONA?  Years, many, many years.  Who knew?  Oh, what's that?  Someone who paid attention in Social Studies?  Weird.)

I digress.  I do that alot, don't I?  Welcome to my world.  Back to the bath.  We've had Holy a little over 2 months now.  He's off the bottle..boo hoo.  I was tempted to keep bottle feeding him just because I want him to get nice and fat and also because I loved doing it so much but GI Joe assures me he's doing just fine and it's not natural for a 6 month old calf to still be on the bottle or in nature still nursing.  And I just mentioned nursing on my blog.  Wow.  I know no bounds do I?  Because Holy is a Jersey he won't ever get fat that's just not how Jerseys roll.  They always look skinny and bony.  You'd better believe that when we're at the fair shopping looking thru the livestock barns I will be doing comparisons and if I determine he's skinnier than his fair counterparts drastic measures will be taken.  And by drastic I mean, I'll bring him in the house every night for a bowl of ice cream. 

Here's our giving a calf a bath experience in pictures.

Before

A heart to heart with Toothless the Turkey

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Letting him know how this is all gonna go down.

Someone needs a pedi!

The hose came on and he was a rodeo ready bucking bronc.

THOROUGHLY enjoying his bath..obviously

Using a shampoo that promises to make him look like he just stepped out of a salon

Lathered up

My assistant giving him the comb down..barefoot, what a country bumpkin

Looking like a million bucks..ahahaha get it?  Bucks?  Cuz that's what he did the entire time.  OK no more coffee for me this morning.

Ready to impress the ladies w/ his soft, shiny, mango scented 'do.  Oh wait, there are no ladies.  Guess the emus and turkeys will have to do.

Someone at work asked me if "real" farmers bathe their cattle because they couldn't remember ever seeing a farmer out in the field scrubbing down his cattle.  The answer is no, no they don't.  Exhibit 423 why we are not "real farmers"...yet.  But even if we were "real" farmers I'd still give my calf a bath. 

While shopping for his calf bath supplies at the farm store mecca, I came across a livestock paint marker...IN FLUORESCENT PINK.  I think we all know what had to be done.

Doesn't everyone "mark" their turkeys..in pink?

Then there's Pigxie the Pork Princess.  I think it really brings out the pink in her complexion. 

Blade and I thought it was crucial that we give each of our animals a distinguishing mark, a pink "K".  You know for when they go roaming the countryside and someone doesn't know who the stray emu belongs to.  Never mind that the only place our animals roam is to the feed troughs or to their comfy spot in the shade or OR that everyone w/in a 10 mile radius knows that if there's an emu, peacock, fainting goat, or llama on the loose it definitely came from the Koons Zoo.

It looks pretty and really when you're dealing with farm animals, isn't that all that matters?