Friday, January 8, 2010

Letters for the New Year

First things first, do you know what today is? One hint circa one of the worst songs of the ‘90’s….”it’s our anniversary”. Oh wait, that wasn’t really a very good hint huh? But seriously that song? I would put a link here so you could hear for yourself but I like you too much for that. I just wonder what exactly Tony Toni Tone were thinking when they wrote that song? Did they think that if they wrote that song that it would forever excuse them from getting their significant other a card on their anniversary or what? Also fun fact, while the name of the group was Tony Toni Tone NOT ONE OF THEM WERE NAMED TONY. Makes about as much sense as that dumb song wouldn’t you agree?

OK enough with my rant here are my letters for the new year:

Dear Blog Readers-Happy ONE YEAR anniversary to us! I was going to do some kind of giveaway but thought that seemed a bit presumptious of me, considering this is just a small time blog made to record events in this crazy life of mine. I mean it’s not like I’m Pioneer Woman or anything….yet. So instead I propose a Reeses toast….to you. Thank you for reading and laughing, crying, and rolling your eyes along with me as I record the adventures of our life out here on the prairie and for not reporting me to HR for the things written here. Oh wait…scratch that last part. ;) It’s been so much fun especially when people that I haven’t physically forced (if I knew how to do the strikethrough thing on blogger there would totally be a line thru physically forced..please use your imagination) told about my blog say things to me like “Tell us that story you wrote on the blog the other day” or “That peacock story cracked me up”. Hey I figure if I can make someone laugh from one of my many misfortunes then it’s worth it. One of my resolutions for 2010, that I’m resolving NOT to break, is to blog more eat less Reeses. I like to aim high but don’t get your hopes up, we’ll see how that turns out. Do me a favor, help motivate me and post a comment telling me what your favorite Hillbilly Hilarity post to date has been. Was it the brokeback llamas? One of my many Mother of the Year moments? One of my sappy posts? Or do you think they all suck but it’s like a train wreck that you just can’t help but look at? tell. Inquiring minds want to know.

Dear Starbucks Peppermint Mocha-The sign at Starbucks says it’s almost time for you to go. I’ll miss you, my sweet. Counting the days til we meet again in 11 months……xoxoxoxox

Dear Iowa Winters-BITE ME. Oh wait you already did that with your NEGATIVE 35 windchill. The snow was pretty for Christmas and all, but Christmas has come and gone. I think I can speak for many of us when I say that I’m SOOOO over you. So help me if I’m stranded in town without my GI Joe and my backwoods babies another night due to your insistence upon 30mph winds, 6 inches of snow and below zero temps. Hey Antarctica ? Can you send some of that global warming stuff our way please? Feel free to send some of your ice caps too, we can freeze them right back up for ya. Mmmkay..thanks.

Dear Cell Phone-So sorry about dropping you on the ground under my truck and leaving you there in the snow, and -3 temperatures for approximately 8 hours yesterday. Thanks for still working for me. Oh and also so sorry about your sister that I ran over 3 times a few weeks ago. But just think if I hadn’t run her over you and I would’ve never met. It’s better this way. Now keep up the good work or I’ll run over you too.

Dear Biggest Loser Boot Camp Bob-Hi it’s me again, you know the girl with zero willpower and even less desire to what's that word...exercise (ewww shudder). I know we haven’t “talked” for awhile now but it’s time we got back together. I can’t say that I’ve missed you, but I have missed being able to fit in my skinny pants. I’ll try to do better this time. If you could tone down the chipper when you’re making me do painful squats and stuff we’d get along a lot better.

Dear Santa-Thanks for bestowing the Christmas magic on the Koons Zoo once again and your welcome for the delicious cookies we left out for you. I know you’re probably on vacation right now in Hawaii or someplace warm but I’m sure your elves need something to keep them busy during their downtime. Here’s a suggestion for you to consider. How about sending an elf back to my house to take down all the crap that we put up in anticipation of the big day and leaving a nice clean, clutter free house in its wake? I haven’t had a chance to do it yet and between you and me it’s putting me over the edge. I’m THIS close to boycotting decorating for Christmas next year if it doesn’t come down by this weekend. Not that making demands or anything, just sayin’. Your cooperation is appreciated. There will be extra cookies in it for you. P.S. It’s the least you could do since you didn’t bring me ANY of the items from my very low maintenance Christmas list.

Dear CNN-Thanks SOOO much for reporting on the ever enlightening poll taken to determine the most annoying words of 2009 which are: whatever, anyway, you know, and it is what it is. And to you I say “Whatever CNN. And anyway, don’t you have some, you know, REAL news to cover?” It is what it is I guess. Oh how I make myself laugh. P.S. to Readers: If the use of the word “whatever” is annoying to you, go ahead and delete this blog from your favorites immediately because I find it a hilarious word, except of course when my 10 year old daughter is saying it to me whilst rolling her eyes.

Dear GI Joe-Remember last year when you had that remote start put on the Princess Mobile? Umm yeah about that, have I told you lately that it was the best Christmas present EVER?!? Every cold winter day I love it (and you) more and more. Oh yeah and sorry that instead of reciprocating the favor and buying you one for your truck for Christmas this year that you got a lousy hoodie instead. But I know how you heart hoodies, especially one that says “American Farm Boy” so on second thought, we’re pretty close to even.

And with that we're off to celebrate the one year anniversary of this blog by going to see Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel (sp?). You should all be so lucky to celebrate in such a manner. Full movie review coming soon. Hold on to your seats.

And don't forget to indulge my need for attention and affirmation and post a comment with your favorite HH post to date.

Peace Out,

The Prairie Princess


  1. Hey Holly! It is Melissa Slaughter your ever so loyal blog reader!! LOL!! I truly look forward to every post! You have made me laugh, cry, roll my eyes - the works!! I have shared your funnies with my family and look forward to reading about your life in 2010!! I will say that my FAVORITE is If I Don't Blog I'll Cry (Or Drink Heavily!!! Sorry for your pain but I laughed until I cried!! I still laugh when it comes to mind!!

    Keep it coming!!


  2. Don't be silly~how can I pick A favorite? ALL of them are my favorites!!

  3. Happy bloggerversary! Among my favorite posts: the concert at Water Works, Brokeback Llamas was a classic, and the NKOTB series cannot be beat.

  4. Geez, I don't know which is my favorite. But what a way to document the Koons Zoo and those blonde moments. I like seeing your pictures. I laugh when I think of the Brokeback Llamas and the many car/phone ordeals.

  5. PP - not sure about my favorite, but I've come back for the S'more cookies receipe a few times. Love to read your blog, just wish I could find those pink coveralls for you. Hope you have a great 2nd year blogging.

  6. Please please DO NOT abandon me in the world of those of us addicted to Reese's. Cuz if you give them up then I might have to and I'm not sure that I can.....just sayin