Facebook Etiquette

I heart Facebook. Actually I’m mildly addicted. I’m not into all the applications or games available on there. Why “pretend” to take care of a Farm when I have actual animals needing my attention? I don’t need that pressure. But I am addicted to seeing people’s statuses and “talking” to people that I otherwise might’ve lost contact with. You know that and seeing which girls who thought they were “all that” from junior high and high school maybe aren't so much "all that" anymore, if you know what I'm saying. Oh sorry is that catty of me? Admit it you do the same thing.
I digress. Back to my original topic at hand…facebook etiquette. Here are a few issues I have with Facebook, suggestions for improvement if you will.

*When someone “defriends” you I think it should be a news feed item “John Doe and Prairie Princess are NO LONGER friends.” Nothing is more disconcerting then realizing you haven’t seen a status update from a friend in awhile and you search your friends only to be told by Facebook “You have no friends named XXXX.” You couldn’t be more right Facebook, thanks for pointing that out.

*Speaking of defriending, I also think a reason should have to be selected when defriending someone so they are aware of why they are being dropped. For example, To defriend this person please select one of the following reasons: 1) their status updates annoy you 2) their inappropriate and/or CONSTANT comments on YOUR status annoy you 3) you’ve had a falling out in real life or 4) You only added them as a friend originally because you didn’t want to look like a loser with only 3 friends but now that you’ve got a decent amount of friends you no longer need them. Brilliant right?

*Facebook stalkers. There is one on every friends list who thinks they know you WAY better than they do and feels the need to weigh in on every status update, every picture, etc. but you know if you drop them they’ll flood your inbox or the inboxes of mutual friends demanding to know why. Awkward. Facebook, please add a Stalkers option so we can flag such people. Maybe that could be the latest, greatest group on FB "Facebook Stalkers Unite" instead of the overused "We Won't Pay for Facebook Groups".

*Limit the amount of status updates a person can put out there that tell what they are having for dinner, lunch, breakfast. I can only handle so many food related status updates. Great, if you’re making a special dinner or just tried a great new recipe but seriously listing your menu for EVERY meal.,,,SNORE. Pretty sure the Food Network doesn’t check for statuses like that in the hopes to find the next Rachael Ray. I do have one friend on my friend's list that I am granting immunity for on this. His food status updates not only make my mouth water because he's an amazing cook but he puts a witty spin on them therefore making his food status updates killer. This doesn't work for everyone.

*Limit the amount of "over the top how much you love your significant other" status updates. Once in awhile is fine, sometimes you just can't help it. I totally understand being so in love you want to scream it from the mountaintops, hello I’m married to GI Joe, I live there. But seriously there are some status updates that MAKE. ME. WANT. TO. GAG. My theory is if you have to broadcast it constantly then you may be overcompensating and things aren’t exactly as “peachy” as you would like the internet to believe. How’s that for some facebook psychology? (No charge this time.) I’m *this close* to defriending someone on facebook for this very reason. The daily updates on “how amazing her amazing man is and she loves him so much” that also include all kinds of symbols and hearts and stuff I can’t figure out what they mean are way too much for me to stomach. Get a room people or some couples therapy perhaps.

*Let’s get that “Dislike” button added ASAP. Thank you.

*More than 5 status updates per day is TOO much, unless there is actual breaking news that does NOT include what you’re wearing, what you’re eating, or how wonderful your life is.

*If we wouldn’t chat if we ran into each other in the mall, why on earth would I add you as a friend on facebook? Just sayin’. Also, if you won’t reveal your real name so that I know who you are when responding to your friend request then there is NO WAY IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH that I am going to allow you to view my personal information and pictures. Duh. Oh wait isn't that kinda what this blog is? But that's different.

*There needs to be a Facebook Addicts Anonymous support group. I would be willing to sponsor, as a recovering addict myself. Call me.

Facebook will be receiving an email with these suggestions so I’m sure they’ll be implemented soon, just like the pink Carhartts. Now let the defriending begin, at least I'll know why I'm being defriended. :)