Good Directions

On the way home from the unfortunate flatulence filled horseback riding lesson, I must've gotten distracted (I know shocking, stay with me) by my hyped up kids. I think they'd dipped into the horse steroids or something or maybe it was the fumes. Because before I knew it I was in unfamiliar territory. Keep in mind that the stables are on a highway just a few gravel roads and a couple country miles from our house, and that I drive this route EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT, and have always taken this back way to get to the interstate when heading south, but I was LOST. Like, really lost. Of course Maggie the GPS was in GI Joe's truck so she was of no help, not that any of the roads I was on would've shown up on her radar, but I could've used her moral support. Also, it was really dark and there was a lot of snow, meaning I could not identify any familiar landmarks, such as the swinging bridge park where we used to go parki...I mean sightseeing. ;) Moral of the story, I thought we were going to die. OK, so maybe i exaggerate, but I certainly didn't know how we were going to find our way back home. Fun fact about the boondocks, you can drive for miles on a road before you see a street sign telling you what road you're on. MILES I tell you. I drove on and on and ON thinking I would eventually come to a road I recognized. Instead, I came to roads with twists and turns and no street signs. A lovely trip it was.
Finally, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and call 1-800-GII-JOE. Pride prevented me from doing it early on, as what kind of country girl am I if I can't navigate my way through the countryside that I've lived in for the past 10 years?!? But it beat the alternative of running out of gas (oh yeah did I mention that stupid light was on..again?) in the middle of nowhere and freezing to death. So I called him. He laughed...really hard. Then asked me where I was. Ummmm duh, don't you think if I knew that I wouldn' t be lost. Wait, probably not. About that time I came upon an intersection that had a street sign of all things. I read the street sign to him. He then asked me what direction my rearview mirror said I was going. He knows my sense of direction which is why he referred me to my rearview. It said west. Yay we live WEST! Oh wait I suppose that depends on where I was huh? Without a second thought he told me exactly where I was and how to get home. I just had to turn right on the road I was on and it would eventually lead to our road. I was in awe by his country boy sense of direction and ability to know exactly where I was and how to get home. That moment quickly passed when he then added, "Oh by the way, you're coming from the other direction that you normally would so our house will be on your LEFT instead of your right...just didn't want you to miss it...tee hee...ha ha.." Oh isn't he hilarious? So what if one time we drove up on our house from the opposite direction than we normally go and I exclaimed in all sincerity, "Look!! Their house looks just like ours!!"
Pssshhhhht....hard to miss the ONLY HOUSE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTY WITH THEIR OUTSIDE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS STILL ON!

In the end, we made it home safe and sound. Thank God for good directions....and turnip greens (name that tune)....and Christmas lights in January.