Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Hi, it's me your favorite Super Blonde. If Rudolph comes down w/ the swine flu or in his case the Venison Virus, gimme a call my hair could probably light the way. I realize that I often ride a very thin line between the Naughty and the Nice list but I thought I'd send you my list anyway, just in case the Nice outweighs the Naughty (crossing my fingers.)
Let's get down to business. And yes, there are homemade cookies in it for you...lots of them.

*A zebra, a real live zebra. I think this one's pretty self explanatory and I'm sure you've had this request before so you know what to do. I do ask that it's a girl so I can accessorize her with hot pink accessories. Hot pink + zebra = FABULOUS. In the event that zebras are currently in short supply in the North Pole I would be satisfied with a zedonk, who shall be named Honky Tonk Zedonk a Donk.
or
*Raspberry pink Carhartts. My attempts persuading Carhartt to manufacture these have been blatantly ignored and I'm fed up. But before I write yet another strongly worded letter, burn my boring navy blue pair of Carhartts, and buy Dickies, I'll let you see if you can work your magic. Size medium please. Mmkay thanks. Here's a picture:

*Arm/hand implants. I need approximately 6 more arms and hands to be able to effectively multi task at the level required to maintain my sani get everything on my to do list done every day. And if the implant surgery comes with say, 13 weeks off that would be a great stocking stuffer.

*Speaking of elective surgeries, how about liposuction? I love food way too much to seriously diet and exercise is a bad word so as I see it, it's the only way. Maybe they'd give us a 2 for 1 deal, no offense but a little lipo might do you good big guy.

*Two eligible bachelorettes and two eligible bachelors. This one's not for me, obviously. But because I'm a terrible wing woman, I need help finding love for 4 of my good friends who are cursedly single. Don't you have connections with Cupid?

*This barn (minus the Scout's Rest Ranch). I'm mildly obsessed with barns and want a HUGE one w/ a basketball court in the hayloft, a bathroom, a kitchen, heat, a party room, you know the basics. This one should do the trick. Since it may be hard to carry in your sleigh, a check for $100,000 should cover it.

*A Harley. I think I've proven repeatedly that I am a very capable driver. I always told my straight laced pastoral parents that when I turned 18 I was going to get a tattoo and a motorcycle. I have the tattoo, now I think it's time for that bike, even though my husband has some ummm...reservations about it. I'd hate to think that I lied to my parents (because I NEVER did that growing up) so I really need to hold true to my word. Pink and chrome. a winning combination.

*A beach house in Hawaii. Nothing extravagant, just a small cottage on the beach. I'm pretty low maintenance like that.

And that concludes my list for this year. As you can see i went with the minimalist approach, you know given the current economy and such.

Merry Christmas! Drive safe and pet the reindeer for me.

Love,

Prairie Princess