Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Kids These Days

First I'd like to thank you all for your overwhelming support in my petition to obtain a zedonk. Oh wait there were only 3 of you who commented in favor of a zedonk. Apparently, GI Joe is not alone in his objection to a zedonk. I don't give up easily so I may have to resort to other methods that don't involve my readers. Wink wink. :)
In other news......we've got problems people. 2nd grade problems. Remember the overly agressive girl, Trina, that informed me she was "in love" with Blade last spring? (http://hillbillyhilarity.blogspot.com/2009/04/it-started-way-back-in-1st-grade.html) You know what they say about absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, the summer spent without seeing our dear Blade every day must've done just that for her because she's BAAAACK on the prowl and more obnoxious than ever. I'm thinking restraining order. My apologies to the hundreds that I've already told this story too, you get to hear it again. I'm just so distraught over it I need to vent.

In our school, you can purchase a school directory that lists all the names, addresses, phone numbers, of all the students in K-5. Maybe this is done at other elementary schools or maybe it's just because we're a hicktown and when someone has a birthday party all 35 kids in their grade are invited, but next year I'm opting out of our information being included. So what if it means my kids won't get invites to birthday parties anymore? It will be well worth it to not have the phone ringing off the hook for my alleged hunk of a son...WHO IS 7.

I can deal with her chasing him at school and annoying me by professing her undying love for him at his soccer games but I CANNOT deal with the phone calls. It started last week, when she called and asked if she could come over to pet the animals. She's lucky it was GI Joe home instead of me. Obviously, he told her no but the girl is persistent so she kept calling and talking to the machine. And then she called again yesterday...ON A HOLIDAY. I have some phone etiquette rules that I try to adhere to, such as not calling anyone after 9:00 p.m. or on holidays. Clearly, Trina is not familiar with such rules because she sho' nuff called and this time when I answered she got an attitude with me. Here's the conversation that took place between myself and 2nd Grade Stalker, Trina.

Me: Hello?
2ndGS: Is Blade there?
Me: He's outside right now who's calling?
2ndGS: It's Trina* and can you go get him and tell him to come inside?
Me: Ummm NO, and I really don't want him talking to girls on the phone til he's a little bit older.
2ndGS: NOOOOOOO...you can't do that, I'm just his friend and want to talk to him. (getting slightly indignant with me)
Me: Yes I can do that and you can just talk to him at school tomorrow.
2ndGS: But I want to talk to him now.
Me: You can just talk to him tomorrow. Bye.
2ndGS: (loud, exasperated sigh) Fine, bye.

Seriously?!? SERIOUSLY?!? 2nd GRADE!!! Blade was less than thrilled and shook his head and rolled his eyes when I told him about the call. Then not 10 minutes later the phone rang again but this time I let the machine pick it up and wouldn't you know it was another girl, a friend of Trina, also calling for Blade. By the end of the day there were a total of 4 messages from one girl or another on our machine (yes, we still have a machine because darnit the 80's and 90's were good decades and I'm not ready to part with everything good and right about them including the answering machine and I hate voicemail, so impersonal.) Needless to say, Mama was not a happy camper.

We could call the parents of the girls but given that Trina's mom is the one we aptly named "The Bulldog" I don't think it would do any good. And between you and I, as tough as I am wrestling goats and all, I'm pretty sure she could take me. And something tells me we wouldn't see eye to eye on this issue. Call me old fashioned but I think 2nd grade is WAY too young for coed calling, they should still have cooties at this age right? So instead of starting World War 3 by calling the Bulldog and telling her to please stop her daughter from harassing my son, I'm taking the high road. And by high road, I mean I'm putting blunt, tell it like it is, Dakota on the case. I asked Dakota to utilize her role as older, influential kid and tell the girls "girl to girl" that they should probably not call for her brother anymore because her Mom (me) doesn't like when they do that and they don't want to make her Mom mad because she can be super mean (I really can be!). Because Dakota marches to the beat of her own drum and isn't concerned with popularity or fitting in, she had no problem accepting the challenge. I'm not ashamed to have my children do my dirty work for me. Whatever works right? And if it keeps me from getting beat up by The Bulldog I'm all for it.

While I complete disagree with Trina's tactics, I do have to give the girl credit for one thing. She's got good taste, I mean really he is pretty darn adorable.
Too bad the only way she'll EVER get to date my son (when he's WAY older than 7) is OVER MY DEAD BODY.


  1. Now of course I have to know who "The Bulldog" VM mom is...