GI Joe has brofriends. There I said it. It's true he does.
Meet Brofriend #1-This is GI Joe's first brofriend love, John. John, his wife, and kids go to our church and we've been friends for a LONG time. In fact, John's wife, Trisha, was our daycare provider for all 3 of the kids from birth to kindergarten. She's awesome and one of my good friends. However, John and Justin have a special bond, a "guylove" if you will. I'm not kidding they are worse than girls. Our own 3 kids recognize this bond and have called John "Daddy's boyfriend" since they were very young. I don't know what it is about GI Joe and John but it's adorable. They have withdrawals if they don't talk for a couple days and will call just to chat. They openly miss each other and are sad if one of them isn't at church for some reason. And when they do see each other at church their eyes light up as if they haven't seen each other in YEARS, even though usually it's no more than 3 days. To some wives this might be disturbing, but to Trisha and I, we just buy them friendship bracelets and laugh. The four of us will go out on a double date and the seating at the movie always has to be me, GI Joe, John, Trisha. John is the all purpose brofriend. They share a similar passion for football and will even go so far as to cheer for the other's team (as long as they aren't playing each other) and keep up on each other's players, draft picks, plays, etc. just to make sure the other is well informed. Among other things that bond them are their favorite TV shows, politics, church, fishing, and their love of dumb jokes. GI Joe is the master of silly stories and ridiculous jokes and John always always laughs at them no matter how bad. It's sweet really.
Here's a picture of them trying to act like they don't like having their picture taken together. PUHLEASE. I decided that for the sake of GI Joe's military career I wouldn't post some of the other ones we have of the 2 of them. But you get the idea.
While John is GI Joe's bestest brofriend. He has others. I'll just outline a few, but there are many, many more. I'm not implying that my husband gets around but well........you can draw your own conclusions. :)
Meet 24/Political Brofriend Doug-You may remember Doug with his manpurse from my King Pin post. GI Joe and Doug have only been friends a short time but I'm confident it's the beginning of a lasting bromance. They were fast friends when they realized they had very similar political views, and listened to and watched all the same boring political talk shows. We've banned them from talking politics constantly at our outings so on many occasions they can be found talking behind a menu. Seriously as if that doesn't draw a few suspicious looks? They also share a deep obsession with the show "24". They text more during that show than Annette and I do during the CMA Awards and that's no small feat. This probably isn't the best place for a shameless matchmaking attempt but let me remind you single ladies, that Doug is a very eligible bachelor. GI Joe will share.
Trying to look tough (Doug, Jerry, GI Joe)
Meet Fishing Buddy/Wife Sympathizer Brofriend Jerry (pictured above center)-He's the husband of one of my BFF's Annette. Lucky for Annette and I, our husbands hit it off pretty quickly. They didn't have much choice as we were dragging them off to a concert with us and they knew that all they would have when the music started was each other as A and I would be working our way up to the front of the stage acting like groupies. Anyway, Annette and I are very similar in our princess-like tendencies so I think that was the first thing that bonded GI Joe and Jerry, they were sympathetic to each other. They compare notes on their wives and laugh about how much alike we are. Then they realized that they both love to fish and a beautiful bromance was born.Meet Military Brofriend Mike-He's GI Joe's newest brofriend. Mike was in the Navy so they can relate on the military stuff and have the whole Army vs. Navy rivalry going on. But more importantly than that is the manner in which they communicate. I don't know how to explain this delicately so I'm just going to come out with it (no pun intended). GI Joe does a very scary, and I mean scary in the sense that it's dead on, "gay voice". Strangely enough so does Mike! I think within 30 minutes of meeting each other for the first time they were talking in that voice using words like "spectacular", "fabulous", and talking about their jeans. And somehow every time they are together out comes the voice and the whole act which makes all of us with them laugh but also draws curious stares from innocent bystanders...awesome. (I didn't mention in Doug's tribute but he is also a pro at "the voice" so he's always in on it too). Mike is also an eligible bachelor who despite how he talks with GI Joe is not gay. Hard to believe he's still single right? (But seriously, if you're a single white female between the ages of 25-35 who enjoys football, Hawkeyes, hot wings, and striking impressions of gay men by a straight guy, call me.)
Remember how I told you they act? Case and point!
The good news is that I am completely okay with GI Joe's bromances. His brofriends are my friends too so it's all good. And by now I'm sure you're thinking what a messed up dysfunctional marriage we have and you just might be right but hey it works for us.
P.S. Due to the nature of GI Joe's employer we would appreciate your discretion regarding the information contained in this post. Oh who am I kidding? It's hopeless. GI Joe told me the other day his boss had to WATCH him, ahem, give his sample for the drug test, and instead of playing it cool, GI Joe made a somewhat inappropriate comment to his boss in "the voice". Good news is he passed the test AND got a raise. Go figure! (Just kidding!)
Oh and one more thing, none of the guys listed above, including GI Joe, are actually gay, they just sound like it.