GI Joe: My American Hero

My love, my hero, GI Joe turned 32 on Sunday. But instead of being at home celebrating it with his lovely wife, children, family, and friends he was en route to Little Rock, AR for another 2 weeks of military training. Which means that my posts will not only be sporadic, but also filled with angst, despair, self pity, and disasters, until his return next Friday (late, not that I’m counting hours or anything). You’ve been warned.
Oh sorry, this isn’t about me, this is about him. As is my tradition, when an immediate member of my family celebrates a birthday I write a sappy, sentimental post to highlight some of the things I love about them. Unfortunately for you, GI Joe is no exception. Warning: gag factor high. Here goes:

*I tend to break a lot of stuff and he fixes it, usually at minimal cost, making me feel less bad about being so darn uncoordinated and accident prone. Example: lawnmower, coffeemaker, plates, my hair dryer, the Princess Mobile , GPS, etc. I’m not saying he does it wordlessly, I’m just saying he does it. Initially, he may mutter a few things under his breath but then he’ll get it fixed and by the end of the day is THANKING me for giving him the opportunity to hone a new skill or fix something he’s never fixed before. OK so maybe not exactly but he’s quite handy and only gotten more so the longer we’ve been married. Coincidence? I think not. You're welcome GI Joe.

*He’s as low maintenance as I am high maintenance. And he enjoys indulging the high maintenance side of me by doing things like surprising me with that new purse I’ve been eyeing or the pair of shoes that he saw that he knew I’d just love even though he complains daily about my current shoe inventory, just to see my eyes light up and hear the squeal of delight that escapes from my mouth. Whereas, he has to be forced to buy things for himself. He’d much rather buy something for me, or the kids, or the zoo, rather than for himself. I really love that about him. GI Joe, if you’re reading this there’s this really, REALLY cute pair of boots……. JUST KIDDING.

*He is who he is. While many of us say we don’t care what other people think about us, he honestly doesn’t. He’s not one to sugar coat or change his thoughts, feelings, beliefs because he’s afraid someone won’t like him or will be offended. But he does it in the most charming manner. And most people like him more because of this endearing quality. I laugh because he’s admittedly not a people person and generally doesn’t like a lot of people, not that he’d disrespect them or be mean, he just keeps to himself. But for some reason, wherever we go people, including complete strangers, tell him their life story or ask him advice or seek him out to talk to him. Apparently, he has that “talk to me” aura about him whether he likes it or not. Sorry about your luck GI Joe.

*He’s the best dad ever. My kids won the Daddy jackpot and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased, which I am obviously, but he really is. Even with his stressful, often time consuming career he manages to put us, his family, at the top of his priority list. Never have our kids felt like Daddy isn’t around or is never there for them even though sometimes he’s working 65 hours a week. Sure, he’s missed a soccer game or two but he makes up for it with the hours he spends with them in the yard practicing for that soccer game or stopping by the school to have lunch with them just because or getting them off to school every morning. He teaches them, disciplines them, loves them, plays with them, laughs with them, and is very active and involved in all aspects of their lives. He’s their hero. The boys want to be like him and Dakota says she’ll only marry someone if he’s just like him (when she’s 45, his rules). When they were little, people that didn’t know him would always ask me “Does your husband help out at all?” I always felt a little guilty because truth be told he does just as much (if not more) than I do in the whole parenting gig. He more than makes up for my parenting faux pas, shortcomings, and Worst Mother of the Year title. Our kids just might have a chance at being normal, contributing, members of society because of him.

*His sense of humor. He’s quick witted, sarcastic, goofy, and great at telling stories. Nothing brings a grown man to tears of laughter faster than his famous “Monkey in a Fruit Tree” story. Right Jerry? Our friend Jerry has heard it a million times but still when he's having a bad day, Annette will say to him, "Just think about Justin telling you the monkey in the tree story," and that's all it takes. Ask him to tell it to you sometime, trust me he'd love to.

*Every single time I call him, he answers the phone "Hi Sweetheart" and that's it, I'm a goner. It's the little things.

*He’s tall, dark, and handsome just like I ordered. Well, not exactly ordered but strongly requested when God and I were discussing my future spouse years ago. The biceps were an added bonus. As a favorite song of mine says, “you can’t get these kind of muscles anywhere but a farm.” Phew. Sorry, got sidetracked by visions of the biceps. I’ll refocus now.

*Speaking of farms, that’s one of the things I love most about him. That he is a real, true, country boy and embodies the things that you think of when you think of a homegrown guy. He’s respectful, hardworking, loyal, strong, polite, looks good in jeans and boots (oh sorry got distracted again), honest, just to name a few. Let’s face it without him there would be no Prairie Princess. And what kind of world would this be if I had stayed a normal, law abiding, one pet, city girl? Not the kind of world I’d want to live in, that’s for sure.

I could go on and on because even after 13 years with him, I still actually adore him and can’t wait to see him after we’ve been apart, even for just a few hours. And trust me, coming from the same girl who had Dating ADD prior to him, where after dating any one person for greater than 4 months Every. Little. Thing. about them grated on my last nerve, that is quite an accomplishment. (No offense boyfriends of ‘93-‘96, it just wasn’t meant to be.)

All in all he's awesome and more than I thought I'd ever land in a husband. I’m just glad I’m the one who gets to bake, I mean order, his cake until death do us part. He does read the blog (when I tell him "hey you should read the blog today") so feel free to join me in wishing him a Happy Birthday. He could use the excitement, not much happening in AR these days.
Happy (belated) Birthday GI Joe! Also, I hope this makes up for calling you at midnight to ask you how to get into the gun cabinet when you had a PT test at 5:30 the next morning. But please come home soon before there are any further gun or machete incidents.
Oh did I mention opinionated? Yeah, that too.