Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Truant Parents

A few things before I delve into my tale of our exemplary parenting. 
*My phone made a full recovery from the lemonade incident.  Thank you brown rice.
*Just finished the book "Water for Elephants" and am now counting down the days until April 22nd when the movie comes out.  Although it's highly probable that the movie will be nothing like the book and will only serve to anger me.  Edward from the Twilight movies is the main character in the movie along with Reese Witherspoon.  I'm more of a Team Jacob kinda girl myself but I think Edward, I mean Robert Pattinson, will be great in that role.  Anyone read "Water for Elephants"?  I thoroughly enjoyed it and am now intrigued by the history of circus trains and have added the Circus Museum to our 2011 Vacation Plans. 
*I have not heard a word from Carhartt in regards to my pink Carhartt plea.  They have no idea what they're up against.
*Elvis our Emu died and we are now emu-less and that makes me sad.  Such is life on the farm I suppose.  No worries, a new pair of emus will be joining the zoo later this spring. 

Now on to the main event....

I think we’ve proven ourselves time and time again as Worst Parents of the Year. I mean really, remember this this? or this? or this? Or well, just read the blog you'll find plenty of examples.  But once again, we’ve gone above and beyond and cinched that title once and for all. We're overachievers like that.

Early Saturday afternoon, we met my Dad and Smom to give them the kids to them for the weekend. They live about an hour and a half from us so we met halfway. And can I just say that by the time they pulled into the parking lot of our meeting place, we loaded the kids in their vehicle, threw in their suitcase, and then LITERALLY ran back to our vehicle, LOCKED THE DOORS AND SPED OFF BEFORE NANA AND PAPA COULD CHANGE THEIR MINDS, because the kids were being that AWFUL ahem..spirited? Seriously. We love them but a parental separation was in order. Thanks kids for the extra dose of whining, fighting, and arguing you bestowed on us on Saturday morning to make the separation easier. IT WORKED. The whole reason for the shipping off of the children, besides the much needed parental hiatus, was so that GI Joe and I could enjoy a long overdue date night with my BFF since 1989 and her husband in Iowa City , which happens to halfway between our two homesteads. The date night will get a post of its own because let me tell you, you give 2 couples who don’t get out much a night away from their beloved children, busy households, and everyday stress, it’s bound to get Cray Cray…C-R-A-Z-Y. ;) 

I digress. So by 12:30 on Saturday afternoon we were footloose and fancy free and I’m not gonna lie, it was invigorating. Made even better by the fact that it was only beginning as the kids wouldn’t be returning home until Monday morning. MONDAY MORNING?!? Normally when they go to Nana and Papa’s in Council Bluffs we meet on Sunday afternoon to retrieve them. But since it was President’s Day and according to the writing on my kitchen calendar it was also Teacher Development Day so NO SCHOOL, they were riding back with my Smom when she came over for work on Monday morning. So not only did we get a date night we got a date DAY. A half day, a night, and another day, actually 44 HOURS, but who’s counting?!?

Umm I'll tell you who's counting....the school.  They were counting our kids as ABSENT on Monday morning.

I got a call at work from GI Joe at 7:30 asking me if I was sure there was no school because THE BUS JUST STOPPED AT OUR HOUSE TO PICK UP THE KIDS.  You know, the kids that were still in Council Bluffs at that moment because someone didn't think they had school?  I went immediately to the school website bound and determined to find the announcement that said, "Teacher Development scheduled for Feb 21 has been cancelled and there will now be school to make up for the abundance of snow days we've had already this year."  That is the only explanation I could think of for because as you may have heard, I NEVER make mistakes.  (Please back away from the computer because lightning may strike.)  Strangely enough, there was no announcement and when I pulled up the calendar there was no mention of a Teacher Development Day.  Obviously, they had quickly deleted it off of there and sent the busdriver out to play a joke on us.  Except that when I pulled up the lunch menu, there was a menu for Monday 2/21.  Is there no end to the lengths that the school will go to to mess with me? 
Apparently not, because not only did they get the website, the busdriver, and the lunch calendar in on it, they got the entire student body to play along and all of them showed up for school on Monday.  Even though it was very clearly written on the calendar hanging in our kitchen.  Weird.
Ready to cry uncle to put an end to this conspiracy madness, I called the school to report that the kids would be in late, around 11.  GI Joe picked them up from my Smom and took them to school.  Or tried to take them to school.......
They were less than thrilled about going and all the way there Blade and Dakota were complaining of not feeling well.  He brushed it off as them just trying to get out of going.  As they were walking into the school, Blade looked at GI Joe and said, "Daddy, I REALLY don't feel good," and then he promptly threw up all over the sidewalk.  And then Dakota threw up a little because she's one of those weak stomached people who get sick at the sight/sound of other people getting sick.  Awesome. 
Even more awesome is that GI Joe took Dakota (after all she only got sick because she saw Blade do it) and Ryder the rest of the way in, signed them in and wished them a happy day.  Then he took Blade home to dope him up on Sprite and Spongebob. 
He'd been home about 20 minutes when the school called to tell him that Dakota had just thrown up and could he please come get her. 
And here's what I have to say about that
I was RIGHT!
I really do have mother's intuition. 
Mother's intuition that makes my kids truant, but intuition nonetheless.

1 comment:

  1. Oh WOW!!! You guys and your crazy misadventures. =) Can't wait to hear about date night (and day)!