Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Wanna Be a Hillbilly

It just happened. It wasn't something we set out to do, wasn't a plan we followed from "What to Expect When You're Expecting", it just happened.
Call it a product of circumstance but my kids are hillbillies. Straight up, down home, back in the woods, hillbillies.

It was in the 70's one day last week and when I looked out my kitchen window I saw clothes and shoes strewn all over the yard and 2 half nekkid boys down at the pond fishing for the football that they'd accidentally tossed in. One was throwing rocks at it in an attempt to get it pushed to the other side faster, while the other waited for it to come close enough that he could use the contraption they'd fashioned out of a tree branch and a net to catch it. When they finally came in, they were covered from head to toe in mud and smelled like dead fish. Ahhh the smells of spring. Ryder's defense? "It was sooooo warm outside that we just got too hot so we had to take our shirts off." For the record, it has NEVER EVER gotten so hot outside that I've felt the need to take my shirt off and run around the yard half naked regardless of what you may have heard. :)

Then there was the wedding we attended on Saturday. It was about a 2 hour drive away AND it meant getting up early on a Saturday so by the time we got to the wedding the kids were beyond THRILLED. They were sitting quietly thru the service (with scowls on their faces but at least they were quiet) when suddenly Dakota started picking at Ryder's head. I snapped my fingers at her to stop and she exclaimed in a rather loud whisper, "RYDER'S GOT A TICK ON HIS HEAD!!!" Now do you think we could just let it be for 15 more minutes until the I Do's were said and the wedding was over? NOOOOOOOOOO. Instead she kept saying over and over "RYDER'S GOT A TICK ON HIS HEAD!!" Finally, in an attempt to avoid a further spectacle, GI Joe motioned for Ryder to come to him, he extracted the tick, and sent Ryder back to his seat. Blade wanted in on the action and whispered loudly, "LET ME SEE THE TICK!" GI Joe and I were doing our best to ignore them hoping they would just drop it and quietly sit thru the rest of the service. Ha! Should've known better. We looked over and Dakota was picking thru Ryder's hair again and telling him, "Ryder, I don't think they got it all, hold on I think I see the tick's head, hold still, quit moving, let me see if I can get it" By this point, everyone seated in the rows behind us was looking at her as she picked thru Ryder's hair like a monkey. Awesome.When GI Joe gave them his best snap and "mean" look she finally quit picking but not before she leaned over and told me, "DADDY DIDN'T GET IT ALL, I CAN STILL SEE THE TICK'S HEAD." Jesus, take the wheel. I realize that Lyme Disease is a scary thing but I'm pretty sure that he would've survived an additional 15 minutes with that tick on his head. I like to think we did the our friend the groom, who's not much of a center of attention kinda guy, a favor by taking some of the attention off of him for a bit. I mean really, who needs all those people staring at you while you look lovingingly into your betrothed eyes? You're welcome Bill.

The moral of the story is this: we bring the classy wherever we go. It's what we do, but rest assured we still have all of our teeth.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmmm...I think I might have witnessed you being half naked a few times at a couple of concerts we attended....very thankful you had a tank top on...LOL!!! Oh wait maybe that wasn't you!!