A Scaaaaary Story by the Prairie Princess

Tonight, a warm, muggy, Iowa evening that felt more like August than May, the boys and I decided to go hunt for some mushrooms.  I was sure that after the recent heat wave there'd be plenty in the woods just below our barnyard.  So we got our weapons aka a plastic grocery sack and headed out.  I always go into those woods with great trepidation, because that is near the area where the great snake incident of 2011 occurred.  Also, they are kind of scary woods, very secluded, treey (that's a new word I just made up, it means there are a lot of trees), kinda dark (because of all the trees..obviously) and just the kind of place monsters would hang out.  If monsters were real of course.  Or homeless people...if they didn't have to hike 5 miles on a gravel road without drawing suspicion to get there.  Anyway, it's a neat place to go but it is a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. But I was feeling brave, mostly because I had my 2 fearless boys with me to protect me from any snakes, monsters, or homeless people I may encounter. 

We were minding our own, looking for mushrooms when I felt the earth move and heard the thunder of footsteps, but they were too heavy and loud to be HUMAN footsteps.  What could they be?  I was sure Bigfoot  was alive and was right there in our woods ready to eat us.  That would explain all the mysterious chicken/geese abductions we've had over the years.  I shushed the boys and told them to listen as something was coming.   I picked up a big rock that I was going to take down Bigfoot with (if you've ever seen me throw you'd know Bigfoot had nothing to worry about.) The noise kept getting closer as we waited with bated breaths, not daring to breathe so maybe we could go unnoticed by whatever beast was roaming the woods.  A cool breeze whispered through the trees, sending shivers down our spine as we listened...and waited....

And THEN...

THIS, popped through the trees.....

You'd scream too. 

And then the 4 of us, a mom, her boys, and their bovine brother trotted happily  through the woods, not finding a single mushroom.  I think Bigfoot beat us to them. 

The end.  :)