Tuesday, November 30, 2010

You Can't Handle the Truth Tuesday

I’ve still got a touch of the blogger’s block and suddenly I am able to blog in paragraph, story telling format and only in bullets. My high school English teacher would be so proud..or not. Sorry Mr. Horn.

So instead of a coherent, flowing post I shall grace you with some tantalizing truths about me, Prairie Princess. Fascinating stuff I tell ya. I’m weird. This has never been more evident than when writing this post.

*I am a thrillseeker to the nth degree, however I despise, detest, am terrified of, ferris wheels. Hate them. I especially hate riding these horrid death traps with people who are aware of my fear and then capitalize on it by doing things like rocking our car back and forth and laughing hysterically while I scream “We’re going to die! We’re going to die!”…..ahem…GI JOE & HEIDI. Give me a roller coaster with a 400 foot drop and 13 loopty loops any day over a stupid ferris wheel. At least I know with a roller coaster my demise will be quick and relatively painless but with a ferris wheel that’s a LONG way to fall to your death and even then it may only maim you instead of killing you. Down with ferris wheels.

*Sometimes when I’m driving alone in my car I’ll crank up the Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, recline my seat, slouch down, and pretend I’m a gangsta who is greatly feared in the hood. This totally works except when I’m driving on a gravel road in the boondocks on my way home to take care of my FARM ANIMALS. Also, I can’t find my blue do rag so it’s hard to “represent”. And another thing? I wish Snoop would record a Baptist friendly version of some of his hits, you know like Kidz Bop, that still has the same beat just minus all the language. Ain’t Nuthin But a G Thang could totally be an alphabet learning song.

*Speaking of cranking up the tunes, I noticed recently that when I am parking or backing out of a parking space, I instinctually turn down the radio. After some deep self evaluation I’ve determined the reason I do this. It’s so I can hear if/when I hit something. Seriously. Listen, the P Mobile is a big girl so I may not always feel it if I “bump” or “tap” something. Not that I have learned this from experience, I’m just sayin’.

*When I see babies in public without shoes on, I cringe.  I have no explanation for this other than a) I love shoes and think we should start them young and b) no one else in the world goes into Wal Mart without shoes on why would a baby?  What if they decided to start walking at that veryj moment and they didn't have shoes on?  Then their precious feet would be touching those nasty Wal Mart floors and then where would we be shoeless parents?!?  It's an abomination.  What's even worse than no shoes on a baby?  A baby out in public in nothing but a diaper.  That is so NOT ok. And it's pretty likely that I will purchase an outfit for the baby, hand it to the parents, and wait patiently while they put it on.  I mean REALLY. 

*I'm a sniffer.  I'm that crazy lady in the detergent aisle opening bottles of laundry soap and fabric softener.  I'm all about smells.  I have some favorites, ex:  Gain Island Fresh, Tide, Era, but I still have to sniff all of the viable options every single time I have to buy laundry soap and will choose depending on my mood.  Also, I have to admit that not only do I use liquid fabric softener but I use dryer sheets.  So DOUBLE the fabric softener!  GASP.  I told you I'm smell motivated. 

And so my blog has reached a new boring low...laundry.  Goodbye forever.

But before you go, here's one more truth about me, a cliffhanger of sorts.  Are you ready?!?  Drumroll please.

*I shopped for SEVENTEEN HOURS on Black Friday this year.  I'll tell you about it just as soon as my shopper's elbow heals up. 

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