This is an edge of your seat thriller about my all too exciting weekend except minus the thrilling, exciting parts. Although you may be on the edge of your seats....llllready to leave because it's THAT exciting.
Here are the highlights:
*The boys have a newfound love of Under Armour shirts. They'd like to wear them all day every day if I'd let them, which I won't. And they prefer to just wear them plain, not under anything. Apparently, when you don't have worries of love handles and spare tires something that basically fits like a 2nd skin doesn't frighten you. I think that's why they like them actually, they can see their muscles better. ;) Anyway, Blade got a new one on Friday and was trying it on to make sure it fit and Dakota looked at him and said, "Blade! That shirt shows your MOOBS!" You know moobs, as in man boobs? Seriously. Where she learned of such a thing is a mystery to me, but it's still making me laugh today. P.S. Blade really doesn't have moobs so she's clearly misinformed as to the meaning of the word. This wasn't covered in my parental handbook so I'm going to let it go.
*Blade had a football game on Saturday morning against our town's long time rival team, a neighboring small town whom we shall call Smearlham. Smearlham has a bit of a reputation for being a little, how shall we say, ahem...overzealous and dare I say cocky, when it comes to sports. (That's putting it nicely, if I weren't putting it nicely I'd say arrogant and poor losers but I'm not one to say such things..sooo) Ironic, since typically they are a lot more talk than action. Anyway, his game was in Smearlham. It was a cool 52 degrees, drizzling off and on, and getting darker by the second. With 8 minutes left in the game and a sizeable lead by the Bulldogs (that's us) lightning was spotted. At first they were just going to delay the game by 20 minutes and then reevaluate but it was getting darker and raining harder by the second so they decided to call the game. Typically, that would be it, Bulldogs would get the win and everyone would go their merry way with an extra 8 minutes on their hands. But Smearlham coaches insisted that we finish the game the following afternoon. Because between you and me, their team had the ball when the game was called and I'm pretty sure they were going to make a comeback. So the next day all the boys got all suited up again and showed back up to play for 8 MINUTES. Guess what? In the 15 minutes it took them to play the 8 minutes, that we spent 15 minutes driving to get there and another 15 warming up, and another 10 getting suited up for..the BULLDOGS STILL WON. And I had to try really hard to remain an upstanding example of good sportsmanship because I SOOOOO had a few things I wanted to share with the Smearlham coaches and parents. But I didn't but all I have to say is GO BULLDOGS!
*This weekend was also the MIlitary Drag Queen Convention also known as the Recruiting Banquet. Here are a few points of interest from that:
*I still don't really like recruiters, that's a lot of hot air in one place.
*I also really don't like a very high ranking officer who may or may not have direct authority upon GI Joe's job. He came by our table to chat and actually said, "I'm kind of a big deal." Ok, that's funny if you're NOT wearing a uniform that already lets people know that AND also if you're not using that to intimidate people. In a rare show of restraint I bit my tongue as I SOOO wanted to tell him, "Oh you think you're kind of a big deal? Well, I actually am. I'm Prairie Princess, You've probably read my blog. Speaking of which, you will actually be a big deal when I blog about you next week." Also, he is like 5 feet tall so it was hard for me to take him seriously since I kept seeing Jiminy Cricket in my head. Restraint is so overrated but on the bright side, GI Joe is still employed...until Jiminy reads this blog.
*I do like the wife of one of GI Joe's fellow recruiters (he's not bad either). She is hilarious, has a Boston accent AND helped me steal 6 wineglasses with the Guard insignia on them, you know because of all the wine we drink here at the Koons Zoo?. I think the 2 of us together makes our husbands really nervous. And now I have wine goblets for the fancy dinner parties we host..not.
*I also really like GI Joe's boss and his wife. His boss gets a kick out of my love of llamas and farm girl stuff. After regaling our table with the story of our gay llamas and of how I am teaching my pet calf, Holy, to sit and shake he told GI Joe, "Wow, you really got a keeper didn't ya?" Isn't that sweet? No, he wasn't being sarcastic AT ALL, why do you ask?
*As I've mentioned before, I'm usually one of the few wearing a dress any other color than black or navy. Typically, I'm the ONLY one wearing hot pink, zebra print, or lime green, which I'm sure is very hard to believe but it's true. Now I'm not saying I'm a trendsetter or anything but all I'm sayin' is that this year there were more dresses of color than in past years. There were some purples, some reds, even a magenta, still no hot pink or zebra but baby steps.
*And then there was the traditional photo shoot which typically results in a rather heated discussion between GI Joe and I that goes a little something like this:
Me: "Let's take some pictures!"
GIJ: "One picture, I hate pictures."
Me: "No we have to take several to make sure we get a good one."
GIJ: "Hurry up, we're gonna be late and I hate pictures."
14 shots later....
Me: "Just one more, I don't like any of those that we just took."
GIJ (quickly losing patience): "No, we're done, let's go."
Me (annoyed): "We have plenty of time, just one more. We only get dressed up and look nice once a year, it's not too much to ask that we get ONE frameable photo.
GIJ: "I hate pictures and we need to go."
Me: "Well I hate this stupid boring banquet but I still go to it with you so the least you could do is take some stupid pictures." (I thought about stomping my feet right here but I'm way too mature for such shenanigans.)
GIJ: "I told you you didn't have to go this year."
Me: (offended, put off, hurt) "Why wouldn't I want to come? I get to wear a pretty dress. You don't want me to go?!?"
GIJ: EXASPERATED SIGH.."Let's hurry up and take the stupid picture so we can go."
Me: "Thank you." (secret smirk).
Aren't you glad you're not married to me?
So here are a few pics from that photo shoot, oh and also the one I subjected him to AFTER the banquet because I wasn't satisified with the first photo shoot. I thought we looked stuffy and prom-ish.
I think his enthusiasm is palpable, no?
Until next year.......