Monday, September 13, 2010

Boys of Fall

Since the day we found out Blade was going to be a boy, GI Joe has been waiting for this.  "This" being, his boy gearing up in pads and helmet to play tackle football.  And if I'm being honest, I have been too.  Growing up in a house full of unathletic girls, I couldn't wait to see what it would be like to be on the front line of the action, cheering on MY son.  Not a boyfriend or a crush or a friend from school but my own flesh and blood.  How cool would that be?  Cool, very cool.

GI Joe loves, loves, LOVES football.  He was an All State offensive lineman (whatever that is) in high school and his picture still hangs in the hallway by the gym where the kids now go to school.  The football team of our junior and senior year was the stuff songs are written about and movies are made.  Hello Friday Night Lights.  Brief tangent:  Who watches the TV series Friday Night Lights?  I keep reading about it and hearing rave reviews but have yet to watch it.  I loved the movie, will I like the show?  Talk to me. 
Anyway, our football team went from zeroes to heroes all within the span of 3 years.  It was legendary.  Also legendary is how #54 aka GI Joe looked in those football tights and jersey.....phew!  :) 

So the time has finally come and Blade is playing tackle football.  I should also mention that Blade has lived for this day since he was old enough to throw a ball.

Here are a few things I've already learned just from one month of practices, 1 scrimmage, and 1 real game. 

*Apparently, it is not acceptable to send your son to the first day of football camp wearing a "My Mom Rocks Shirt", even if your mom does in fact, rock.  Weird. 

*It is also not okay to exclaim in a shrill, excited girl voice, "HE LOOKS SO CUTE IN ALL THOSE PADS AND UNIFORM!" while watching your son at football practice, scrimmage, game, anytime his friends are around.

But seriously...look at him

*When your son proudly says to you after a scrimmage, "I KNOCKED THE SNOT OUT OF HIM MOMMY!" when he tackled him, you are to reply with "GREAT JOB!" not "EWWWWW, YUCK...was he ok?!" 
That's him crouched low ready to attack or tackle or knock the snot out of someone.

*When watching your son practice you should probably make sure that the kid you are waving profusely and yelling, "Hi Blade!  Go get 'em buddy!" to, is actually your son and not some other kid who just looks at you like a crazy person.  In my defense, they all look pretty much alike when they have helmets on.  Thank goodness for game day they have numbers on their jerseys. 
This one is actually Blade...I think. 

*Gasping loudly and saying, "OH OUCH...OH NO!  IS HE OK?!?" when your son is involved in a tackle doggy pile will get you "grounded" to the vehicle for an indefinite amount of time.

*Also, saying "Blade! look over here!" so that you can take his picture during a scrimmage will also result in being grounded.

*I feel like one of the NFL moms from the Campbell's Chunky Soup commercials every time he comes home from practice and INHALES whatever I've prepared for supper and tells me how delicious it is, as if he even tastes it. 

*Apparently, trash talking by me the parents is discouraged.  Personally, I think a little "You're going DOWN SUCKAS" invokes friendly competition, toughens them up.  I don't see a problem.  No wonder today's youth are so soft.  P.S.  THEY did go down. We stomped them 18-0.  I mean we beat them nicely and nobody really even kept score.  (Yeah right.)

*At Blade's first game yesterday, my mother in law patiently explained some basics to me.  Having been a football mom of many years means she's a solid resource.  And much nicer about it than say, oh i don't know, someone who shh's me and grounds me to the car when I gasp too loudly, take too many pictures, or ask too many questions.  Yesterday's valuable lesson?  Explaining the whole chain gang that follows the teams up and down the field measuring something to do with yards and downs and such.  I thought they were prisoners doing community service, what with their chains and all. 

Clearly, I still have a lot to learn.

In other football(ish)  news...
Ryder was voted on by his fellow 2nd graders to ride on a float in the Homecoming Parade next Friday.  As a mini king of sorts.  To quote his teacher "He should be honored as he was chosen by his classmates.  He'll be great at it!"  But now the crucial issue, what am I going to wear?!?  This is big time folks.  I mean what if the news station is there and wants to interview the mother of the 2nd grade king?  I think this calls for a new outfit...and shoes...and probably a purse.  Accessories make the outfit.  As for Ryder's attire, he just has to wear his VM Bulldogs Homecoming shirt.  Maybe I'll bedazzle it to make him stand out a little more.  Stay tuned to News Channel 13 this blog for full coverage.


  1. Oh SO FUNNY!!
    Kierra just laughs at her daddy's football picture in the hallway & Makaela I think is embarrassed of his "style" of hair in it. LOL

    Now that Mark finally has his boy, he can look forward to some tackle football~but not for a long, long time for momma's sake!

  2. They did have some funny hair back in their glory days didn't they? :)
    I'm sure Mark can't wait for Brayden to play. But you're right it's hard on us mommas. I think there should be a training camp for football moms. Maybe by then I can be the instructor! As if.