Take a look at my handsome surfer dude.
He's nearing his 7th birthday so I had planned to take his 7 year pictures on Sunday afternoon. Until he woke up Sunday morning like this.....
You should see the other guy..and girl. They bear a striking resemblance to him, minus the swollen eye.
Oh uh uh. We eliminated the possibility that he snuck out and got into a bar fight on Saturday night. We ruled out child abuse, as you know we much prefer to make them run laps or hold hands with their siblings, than to smack them. But then he told us how it happened, and it all came back to me. Our usual suspects are in custody.
On Saturday, the 3 hillbilly children were playing in the pool, while I sat nearby soaking up the sun and catching up on my magazine reading. My reading was interrupted when Ryder started screaming and crying saying something about Blade and Dakota pushing him against the edge of the pool. Little secret...sometimes Ryder overreacts just to get the other 2 in trouble. I'm on to his game, and frankly, it's exhausting, so at times I can be less than sympathetic, especially if there's no blood evidence. First, I must determine if in fact there was an incident that they were responsible for that caused Ryder actual harm and secondly, determine what he did to egg it on and thirdly, what he did to retaliate before tattling on them. Because let's face it 9 times out of 10, he's doing everything he can to push their buttons, not that it justifies their actions towards him but just lets me know whether "the talk" needs to be addressed to 2 or 3 of them. But in his defense, the 2 of them tend to gang up on him alot. It's a fine line we walk. With this particular incident (which happened to be about the 5th of the day), I'd had it with all of them and gave them all a mandatory pool break. Turns out I owe Ryder some extra pool time.
After seeing the damage, the morning after, of what my 2 older children had done to my poor, sweet, beautiful Ryder (no, I don't play favorites, why do you ask?) we had a little pre church "Come to Jesus" meeting with all 3 of them. Of course, the suspects were questioned and denied all allegations. No surprise there, but it didn't matter because there was an eyewitness (me) albeit maybe not the most credible as Redbook was simply riveting this month, and physical evidence (Ryder's eye) proving otherwise. After a short deliberation, the judges (GI Joe and I) handed down the sentencing. With the jail overcrowding situation, we decided to handle it in house and instead grounded Dakota and Blade from the Wii for TWO WEEKS! Two weeks without Wii is about as tumultuous as a year in juvie judging by the loud gasps and crocodile tears that the sentencing induced. It was Lindsay Lohan level, believe me. However unlike Lindsay, we offered them a suspended sentence pending their one week good behavior review. Basically that means, that this week is "Be Nice to Ryder Week" at our house or they'll be without their beloved Wii for the full 2 weeks, with additional days added for any further incidents. If they are nice and all get along then they'll get their privileges back on Sunday. So far it's been a joyous week and I totally intend to capitalize on it for photographic purposes.
Also, I think just for extra enjoyment (for GI Joe and I) and life application lessons, I'll make them write this phrase from a wall in the boys' room 100 times.
With friends like his, who needs enemies?
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