Saturday, February 13, 2010

Still Alive and Kicking

No, I didn’t drop off the face of the earth. Yes, I am going to continue blogging (sometime) and yes, the last 2 months have been among the worst in my life, thanks for asking.

Here’s a brief recap of the year 2010 in the life and times of the Prairie Princess:, have Kleenex handy and probably a few anti-depressants, you’ll need them.

Dec 29-My sweet niece Kaydence passed away after outliving the doctor’s predictions by almost 5 months. No matter what the doctors had told us, this was still a total blow to our family. You are never ever prepared for something like that.
Jan. 1-Rang in the New Year by attending Kaydence’s visitation. Worst New Year’s Day ever.
Jan. 2-Attended Kaydence’s funeral. Unhappy New Year.
Jan. 15th-18th-A momcation (just me) to Nashville to see my youngest sister Hilary and family was a welcome getaway. Not to brag, but after all they’d been thru in saying goodbye to their little girl, me breezing in, cooking up a storm, and making my sister laugh were just what the doctor ordered for all of us. And I got to hangout with this adorable dude and reaffirm my spot as his favorite aunt. Oh look a bright spot!!!

Feb. 1st-The 11 year anniversary of my Mom’s unexpected, untimely death in a car accident. That dreadful day was on a Monday and this year’s anniversary just happened to be on a Monday as well. Too many similarities. For some reason it hit me really, really hard this year. It was a very very bad day. Had myself a pity party, shed quite a few tears and if you'll recall I'm a horrificly ugly crier so I looked awful all day. Life is not fair. God must’ve known that I would need a reason to get out of bed on all February 1sts post 1999, so he made sure Blade was born on that day in 2002. Had to suck it up, put on my happy face and celebrate my little man turning 8. I love that kid and I love that he makes February 1st not so dreadful. A Big Top Cupcake makes everything better.

Feb. 3rd-Got the call that my Grandma, my dad’s mom, the one who sent me coupons, cards, and cooking magazines, encouraged my love of cooking even at a very young age, who prayed under her breath while riding in the car with me, and doted on the 5 of us grandkids as if we were just IT, had passed away. She was 85 but it was still so unexpected. In my head, all 4 of my grandparents were going to live forever, and the 3 that remain had better do just that. She was at her house with my Grandpa, her husband of 64 years, when she said she didn’t feel good and asked him to get her a glass of milk. By the time he got back to the living room from the kitchen with her milk she was gone. A heart attack. This sadness was different from the sadness we experienced w/ my Mom and with Kaydence because Grandma had a long and full life but you know what? It still hurts. Hurts bad. I('ll probably need to blog about her and her awesomeness more in a separate post.) I went immediately w/ my Dad and stepmom to Cedar Rapids where Grandma & Grandpa live, to do whatever I could to help. Turns out my main job was making Grandpa happy. Fortunately, I excel at that. To quote my dear Grandpa, “I don’t need this anxiety medicine the doctor gave me as long as Holly is around.” If only I were available in pill form.

Feb. 5th-Grandma’s visitation. It was a very nice visitation as she was loved by so many. But so, so sad to see my Grandpa looking so lonely and heartbroken and to see my Dad and uncles devastated over losing their mom. The upside to this day? My entire family was together again, even Hilary and Bryan made the trek from Nashville . One thing about my side of the family is that everything is more enjoyable when we’re together. Well, that and the multiple Sonic drink runs we made. Sidenote: At my visitation, guests will be asked to where nametags, identifying themselves and how they knew me.
Feb. 6th-We all donned our “funeral clothes” that had barely had time to dry since the last time we’d worn them, to go to Grandma’s funeral. She had told my Dad months ago that he had to sing at her funeral and told her what songs she wanted sung, so he did. My dad is my hero, I can’t even imagine. Then my uncle, her oldest son, read a tribute that he sent her last Mother’s Day. Ummm yeah not a dry eye in the place. I hope when I die, people say half of the things about me that they said about my Grandma. For example, we asked Grandpa and my Dad if they ever remember her raising her voice or yelling at them. The answer? No, she never yelled or raised her voice, she would take a certain “tone” when her boys got out of hand but never yelled. Amazing. Then again, she didn’t have Dakota as a daughter. Kidding, people relax.

Feb. 8th- Took Moose the Lab, to the vet because he’d been having increased difficulty walking. He’s only 4 so I wasn’t expecting anything major. I should’ve known. He’s got a bad knee, a really bad knee. Our options? An $1800 surgery or try some natural stuff and therapy, have a 3 legged dog and hope that the other knee doesn’t go out. Are you kidding me? Nope, welcome to my world.

Feb. 9th-Resisted the urge to stay in my bed in a dark room for the rest of my life because I was feeling a little, ok really beat up by life. Soldiered thru the day only to get a call from GI Joe midway thru to let me know that my favorite horse, Jack was probably not going to make it thru the week. Prayed the following prayer, “Dear God, can we catch a break here? Seriously…” Went home, bundled up and went outside to check on Jack. I will spare you all details but he came out to greet me , then fell right at my feet and never got back up. GI Joe wasn’t home yet so Dakota, Blade and I stayed out in the freezing cold with Jack for about 30 minutes, saying our goodbyes and letting him know how loved he was. My heart hurt. I love my animals like I love people. Turns out I’m not such a tough farm girl after all. RIP Jack.

And there you have it Prairie Princess debuting as Debbie Downer. Sorry no rainbows and warm fuzzies here, just cold harsh reality. The good news is that I still have my faith and I’ve been blessed with the greatest family one could hope for who make the bad times better.
The past 2 days have been blessedly uneventful and I’m hoping for at least a few months of nothing but good. In the meantime, I’ll try to get back to blogging regularly, the non depressing stuff anyway. On the bright side, if what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, then I’m either almost dead or HeMan.
Just wish my abs knew that.


  1. My heart goes out to you. 2004 was my year from hell...January 1 started off with a truck barreling through our back fence, going airborne and missed ending up in the house by 2" husband was laid off in July our 19 year old daughter was murdered...that same month my husband had a stroke brought on by stress and grief...and in August my dad died of cancer. What helped me survive that year...reintroducing faith in my life...without that, I'm not sure where I'd be today. To you, life will get better...I promise!

  2. Thanks Calamity Anne! And wow, what a year 2004 was for you. Glad you survived and you're right faith is everything.

  3. I was fine until the Jack part...sorry about ALL your losses!

  4. I just wanted you to know that I love you and your family and only wish I could do something that could make your year better.. I know I don't have to say this but don't forget I am only a phone call away.. Let everyone know they are in my thoughts-