Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Call off the Amber Alert, I’m not missing, I’m not hospitalized, I’m not incarcerated, I’m just a bad blogger.

Here are a list of my excuses:

*Suffered a severe head injury last week when the trunk of the Princess Mobile came down on my noggin. It hurt, people. And it may or may not have affected my ability to blog coherently. So really, no different than normal.

*Internet issues on the homefront and while I do have a “smartphone” (although is it really a smartphone since I have been thru 8 of them and had to actually run it over to get one that works properly for more than a month?) and could potentially blog via my phone, my fingers are much too fat to do so.

*Celebrating GI Joe’s birthday “weekend”. Yes, I get a month, he gets a weekend, what of it? Where’s the sappy birthday post you might ask? It’s all right here…in my heart.

*Blogger’s block. I went from brimming with posts to barely being able to muster up this poor excuse for a post. It could be the head injury (see above) or it could be that I just suck. I have approximately 17 unfinished posts sitting there waiting to be finished, some of which are 3 months old. You don’t mind do you? Relevancy isn’t probably something you’re expecting when you come to this blog anyway is it?

*And last but not least, I’ve been very busy accidentally buying donkeys. Sometimes it’s easy for a girl to get confused while at an animal auction and to think she’s buying some adorable mules, a mother and a baby. Only to discover when she gets home and her wonderful donkey hating husband lovingly points out to her that 1) mules don’t reproduce (fun fact: mules are the product of a rendevezous between a donkey and a horse but mules themselves are sterile and do not make baby mules. To get a baby mule you have to breed a donkey with a horse. See, I told you this was an educational blog.) 2) THEY ARE DONKEYS. Ummm oops. You’ve had that happen right, you bought a donkey thinking it was a mule? Who hasn’t really? I mean donkeys and mules are so easily confused. Oh and did I mention that since the inception of the Koons Zoo, GI Joe has had a strict “No Donkey Policy”? He finds their braying (that’s the noise they make, HEE HAW) very, very intolerable. In my defense, I passed on the 3 mini donkeys that were sold prior to the mules/donkeys because as bad as I wanted one because they were SOOOO cute, I didn’t want to violate the No Donkey Policy. I’m a good wife like that. But when these mules/donkeys were brought out into the auction ring I could’ve sworn I heard someone say they were mules and I believe that someone was my very equine savvy daughter so I had no reason to doubt. She denies all allegations of involvement and says I’m crazy. Whatever. But the auctioneer never, ever said they were donkeys either, he just kept referring to them as a Jack and a Jinny. And me, being a wannabe farm girl just assumed that’s what female and male mules were called, just like donkeys, either that or someone had already named them. I saw their cute faces and got caught up in the heat of the auction moment and the auctioneer calling me out, forcing me to keep bidding on the mama and then practically giving the baby to me. What’s a girl to do? Well, I’ll tell you what this girl did. She bought herself a pair of “mules”. And you’ll be happy to know that even though those mules turned out to be donkeys, therefore violating the “No Donkey Policy” I am still married. Hooray! GI Joe is still adjusting to being the proud owner of 2 donkeys but I’ve done my part by taking their picture with his phone and making it the default that pops up everytime I call him or email him. He loves it and he really loves me, obviously.

See, don’t I have a nice ass?

What's not to love? 

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