Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just So I Can Say I Blogged Twice in One Week Again!

If you came looking for more x-rated pictures, there’s nothing to see here. I posted my fair share of those yesterday. Now we’re back to good, wholesome, clean fun normal.

My head hurts (could be brandy withdrawals) and I can’t really think nor type in coherent sentences so here are a hodge podge of things that I’m sure you’ve just been dying to know…or not, but you’re here now and just like a wreck you just can’t help but look. So read on friend, read on.

*SOMEHOW, I am in charge of Ryder’s class Halloween party. Clearly, I was under the influence of something (I have my suspicions) when I signed up for that at the open house in August. I just sent out my first email to the other moms who had signed up to help, not CHAIR it, as that was all me (hello Type A). After sending the witty, slightly sarcastic, “let’s do this” type email it occurred to me that not everyone on that email distribution may get or appreciate my humor. I’m quite certain that there will be kids absent from the Halloween party because their parents felt it best to pick up their kids early from school that day rather than expose them to the crazy lady running their Halloween party. I keep forgetting that when reading what I write not everyone hears it the way I do in my head. So weird. On the bright side, Ryder tells me that this party is the most anticipated of the year because “Ryder’s mom” is in charge again and remember last year when she let us play with toilet paper and stuff?!? Yeah I know kids, it’s a gift.

*Hypothetically speaking, IF I dropped my ATM card in a clean toilet in the bathroom at work, I would in fact reach in and get it out, gagging the whole time. And then I would, hypothetically, wash it and my hands thoroughly with soap and hot water, and then SLATHER it in hand sanitizer. And then I would wash my hands again 17 more times and still feel slightly nauseous at the thought of using that hand to eat or prepare any type of food so would use my left hand for the rest of the day.  Hypothetically, of course. Because if that happened in real life I’d probably throw up a little every time I went to use my card. Wait, how could GI Joe have orchestrated such a thing?

*Has this ever happened to you?  Let's say you were shopping in a store and when you go to leave the store you can't find your keys in your purse.  So then you dig thru the contents of your purse, get really mad because you still can't find them so you then retrace all of your steps back thru the store which were aplenty because you are a shopper and must check out every single area.  You get even madder because you still can't find them and have now just spent 10 minutes retracing your steps.  So then you go out to your truck in the hopes that maybe you left them in there as you sometimes accidentally do.  On your way out to your truck, you happen to reach into the pocket of your jacket and are holding on to your keys as if they weren't the very item  you've just spent half your life looking for and it takes you, honest to goodness, a good 30 seconds before you realize, "Oh hey!  There's my keys!!!"  Ever happened to you?  Yeah me either, just wondering.  :) 

*The other day I stopped at Costco after work for some necessities (not eggs though..booyah!).  The end.  Just kidding there's so much more to the story.  If you're familiar with Costco you know that they are the sample mecca, every day of the week.  Sometimes we'll go there on a Saturday around lunchtime and tell the kids, "If you're still hungry after we shop/eat our way thru Costco" we'll go have lunch."  Oft times, no lunch is needed.  So I was sampling shopping my way thru and had a delightful sample of a Triple Chocolate Ghiradelli Brownie.  Thumbs up on that one by the way, I'm sold.  Approximately, three hours later after I'd checked out at Costco, ran into the gas station to pay for my gas, passed numerous people in nearby cars, said hello to my family, took Dakota to piano lessons, talked to her piano teacher about upcoming schedules, I happened to look in the rearview mirror and see a huge smear of chocolate on my cheek.  And we're not talking a little bit, we're talking like somehow half the brownie ended up on my cheek and NO ONE HAD SAID A WORD.  Niiiice.  Word to the wise, after sampling go ahead and use the complimentary napkin to wipe your mouth and face even if you don't think you've got anything on it.  You can just never be too careful. 

*Last weekend it was Hicks+Six at the Koons Zoo.  We had SIX kids from Friday night til
Sunday afternoon, and by we, I mean mostly me as GI Joe was off playing Army for most of the time.  Three of which were ours and the other three were my good friend Denise's.  The oldest of which is named after me.  Seriously!  Her first name is Holly and it was on purpose!  Isn't that the coolest?  Also the coolest?  That although I don't see lil' Holly every day somehow she is a mini me.  Very matter of fact, opinionated, bossy, knows what she wants and not afraid to tell you, and sweet, of course.  It was a trip, she cracks me up.  For example, she was not a fan of my cooking.  I had made sloppy joes for lunch on Saturday (because what kid doesn't like sloppy joes?) and her exact words were, "Big Holly this is like yucky chili I'm just gonna eat the chips."  :)  Her sisters are younger than her at 4 and 2.  So here's the thing with that.  I had forgotten in the 3+ years we've been out of the toddler stage just how demanding and exhausting it is.  Toddlers are like, soooo high maintenance what with their having to be constantly watched, waited on, fed, and changed.  I was dead woman walking by Sunday afternoon but we had fun and I don't think they were too traumatized by their weekend with Big Holly.  Although I, on the other hand, am still building my self esteem up after being called BIG HOLLY for the whole weekend.  Ouch.  This was my big accomplishment...getting 6 kids showered, dressed, fed, and to church ON TIME.  And I did it!  Here's proof.  Yay me! 
Maybe I could be a Duggar after all.  Except that after a weekend with 6 I realized just how content I was having only 3 kids, until they started driving me crazy and I thought maybe no kids sounded pretty darn good.  So yeah Michelle Duggar you go on with your bad self (and hair.) 

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