Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Blonde Bashing

Maybe it’s because my hair at times is blindingly blonde (ex: http://hillbillyhilarity.blogspot.com/2009/12/super-blonde.html) or maybe it’s because I am guilty of having the occasional….“blonde moments” but sometimes I just get a bad rap because I’m blonde. You should pity me.

Here are some examples of my infrequent blonde moments:

*The other day when I bought our friend Doug a birthday card. It was a layered number and I thought the message on it was very fitting. I signed the card at the obvious last layer of the card. As Doug was reading the card, I noticed that he was reading a part I’d never seen before? I grabbed the card right out of his hands (because I’m discreet like this) and loudly exclaimed, “OH MY GOODNESS I DIDN’T REALIZE THERE WAS AN EXTRA PAGE TO THIS! I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD THAT IT DIDN’T SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AT THE END!” So yeah, I had written on the middle of the card, not the end and there was a whole other part of the card that I hadn’t even seen OR read. Thankfully, the last part of the card continued on with the nice message and didn’t say anything inappropriate like, “Hey big guy hubba hubba ” I mean really, that would’ve been awkward since GI Joe’s named was signed to the card as well. But wait they are “bros” so maybe not. Everyone witnessing the birthday card fiasco was very amused by my faux pas, I aim to please.

*The time I thought a giant bouncy ball out of one of those little red candy machines was the world’s biggest gumball. I popped it in my mouth and chomped down on it as hard as I could only to break all my teeth when I discovered it was RUBBER. GI Joe nearly wet himself from laughing so hard. I’ve been leery of gumballs ever since, dentures are nice though.

*And that’s about it really. For the most part, I totally have my head on straight and have very few blonde moments. I had to dig deep to bring you these. And if you’ll buy that I’ve got some ocean front property in Arizona I’ll sell ya. Speaking of which, after like 5 years of hearing the song by George Straight with that exact line “I’ve got some ocean front property in Arizona ”, I got out a map and declared to GI Joe, “What is he talking about? There’s no ocean front property in Arizona …geesh. And all this time I’ve been so confused by that song!”
Who knew right? Apparently, he did. Whatever dude.

But this ONE, this one was NOT me even though it was incorrectly assumed that it was.

GI Joe’s brofriend John, sent out one of those text jokes that said “a blonde chick just text me and asked “what does IDK mean” and I said “I don’t know” and she said “Ugh no one does”. Ha ha hee hee. GI Joe received that and then forwarded it out to some other friends of ours. I had gotten the one from John as well so knew it was a joke. However, a few minutes later I received this text from someone who shall remain nameless “My friend…IDK means I Don’t Know.”
Apparently, since it came from GI Joe and referenced a “blonde chick” SOME wrongly assumed I was the blonde chick in question.
I responded with “I know, it wasn’t me I swear”
And the response from the nameless person “R u sure there’s rumors going around?”

Do you see what I’m up against here? My few and far between blonde moments have given me somewhat of a reputation that now haunts me.

One thing you should know that is that the person who shall remain nameless is also blonde…just sayin’. :)

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go dye my hair brown before I hit up the beach in Arizona.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmmm.....I have no idea who this friend is of yours.