During the Broadway musical, I mean ceremony, I had planned to sing a song to GI Joe. Approximately 14 times my (now) father in law handed me the microphone to sing and approximately 13 times I handed it back to him and whispered "NOT YET! It's not my turn," as our other wedding singers started to sing. Geesh you'd have thought he would've read the program and the 3 page outline/schedule my Dad distributed at the rehearsal the night before, he must've been too busy practicing for his ACAPELLA performance.
Speaking of my now father in law, not only did he keep trying to force me to take the microphone he also tried to catch me on fire. I'm gonna go ahead and hope that it was nerves and not a ploy to off me before I married his son. On the 14th time he handed me the microphone to sing, when it was actually time for me to sing, he also knocked over one of the candles next to the unity candle. Because I was leaning towards him to accept the microphone (finally) my veil was precariously close to the falling candle and it was millimeters away from lighting my veil and heavily sprayed hair on fire. Not on my wedding day!! In one fell swoop I grabbed the candle and set it back upright with one hand and in the other held the microphone and prepared to hit the first note of my song. I am such a multi tasker, in this case however, it was more a matter of survival.
The song ended and believe it or not I didn't forget the words or bawl my head off. It was surreal because while I sang to him, it was like GI Joe and I were the only ones in the room. To anyone who attended, my apologies if it sounded terrible, love is not only blind but deaf too, so neither GI Joe or I noticed.
As you may know I'm directionally challenged. Left, right, east, west, north, south, they all give me a headache. This was a problem when it was time for me to put the ring on GI Joe's finger. I grabbed his right hand and started trying to get the ring on his ring finger but he was pulling it away. For a split second I thought maybe he was getting cold feet and was going to refuse the ring and then leave me at the altar, a jilted bride. O ye of little faith. How about he was trying to get me to stop trying to put it on the wrong hand and instead put it on his left hand where it belonged? Ooops my bad, but in my defense this was my FIRST wedding, how was I supposed to know that?
The downside of having a musical for a wedding is that it takes awhile and there's a lot of time spent wondering what you should be doing while a song is being sung. You can only gaze lovingly into your betrothed's eyes thru so many songs. Finally, it was time for the kiss, which was slightly awkward since we were given permission by the officiating ministers who also happened to be our fathers. And strangely enough my dad especially, had discouraged this type of public display of affection with boys my entire life and now all of a sudden he's telling me to do it in front of 350+ people? Talk about mixed messages.
I had a few more Bridezilla moments before the evening was said and done but hey, I was entitled and no one got hurt, so what's it matter? I will take this opportunity to apologize to anyone I may have yelled at, snapped at, or bossed around on that November night 12 years ago. Except for the limo driver, you had that one coming buddy.
Overall, our wedding day was absolutely perfect even with my (and my mother's) little bouts of crazy. I think in honor of that special day I'll put on my beautiful dress, prance around the house in it, and subject the family to the sacred viewing of "The Wedding Video." I'm sure they will thoroughly enjoy that.