Thursday, July 14, 2011

Blogger ADD

As it turns out I can't focus long enough to finish the next installment of the New Kids Concert Recap because I have other very pressing issues on my mind.  Maybe once I get these out on the table I'll be able to wrap it up because I assure you, you'll want to hear how it ends.  Spoiler alert:  I ride off into the sunset on a tour bus with my favorite New Kid Jordan Knight and we pick up GI Joe along the way and my 2 husbands and I live happily ever after.  OK so maybe that's not exactly how it happened but it's a thrilling story nonetheless, or at least it is to Robbin, Annette, and I. 

But until then here are some things I really need to say in bullet points because as part of my BADD (Blogger ADD) that's all I'm capable of at the moment.

*Tonight I witnessed one of our roosters and one of our hens, shall I put this delicately?..."twitterpating."  You may find this hard to believe but this is the first time my virgin eyes have witnessed such poultry porn.  It was...disturbing.  This is where you thank me for NOT taking pictures.  You're welcome.  I felt like I was invading their privacy by being in the yard and was tempted to bring out a CD player and play them some Barry White or throw a few rose petals in the barnyard but apparently Alice the hen doesn't have very high expectations.  Aren't you glad I shared this sordid detail of my life with you?  Again, just be glad there are no pictures. 

*Over dinner I informed GI Joe that I wanted to do THIS.  He literally coughed up his steak.  Of course, I was completely kidding as I have about as much desire to ride my bike across Iowa as I do to witness more  poultry porn.  I mean, I don't even like to drive across Iowa IN AN AIR CONDITIONED CAR let alone RIDE MY BIKE. Also, you may or may not remember that the last time I took my bike out for a spin, I ended up with gravel road rash and torn yoga pants...IN MY DRIVEWAY.  So yeah, Ragbrai is not for me.  But GI Joe choking on his steak when I told him I wanted to do it?  Worth it. 

*I'm singing 2 songs in my dear friend Cheri's wedding this weekend.  I wrote about Cheri here.  And NO, she's not marrying the guy I wrote about in that blog.  Initially we were all sold on him but in the end we wanted a refund.  The guy she is marrying however, is a definite keeper which is why I haven't written about meeting him because I didn't want to jinx anything.  My blog has that kind of power you know.  Anyway, I've sang at a lot of weddings in my day but this one, THIS one is stressing me out big time.  Why?  Not because the songs are weird or wonky or anything but mainly because it's CHERI'S wedding.  Cheri, the girl who sent out an email last weekend to all vested parties titled Wedding Week Activities with a break down by day and even hour of the events/schedules/expectations of the wedding party.  She is amazingly organized and a perfectionist to boot so obviously my wedding singer performance has to be top notch.  I've been practicing in my kitchen using a banana as my microphone for hours each night.  It's a sight to see and hear I assure you.  I'm sure Carrie Underwood clocked many an hour singing with a banana on her road to stardom.  I've also come to realize that being a wedding singer might just be the highest pressure job in the entire wedding.  All eyes and ears are on you and your performance will be forever recorded in wedding history.  Wish me luck.  Excuse me, I need to throw up now. 

*Aaaand, I'm back.  Tonight at 12:01 is opening night/day of Harry Potter Deathly Hollows Part 2.  I myself, have never watched one single Harry Potter movie nor read any of the books.  The other 4 members of my family however, LOVE IT.  And guess what?  GI Joe and Dakota (the boys are at my sister's) are going to the 12:17 A.M. showing because they just couldn't wait ONE.MORE.MINUTE to see it even though Dakota has already read the book and will probably be whispering spoilers to GI Joe throughout the entire movie.  I'm fine with them going to the midnight showing, it's cute (and crazy) but I drew the line at dressing up in costume for the occasion.  Not that either of them had their hearts set on Harry Potter glasses or black robes but I just had to put it out there in case it crossed their minds.  However, when we were at my Wal Mart tonight @ 8:00 P.M....4 HOURS AND ONE MINUTE BEFORE THE FIRST SHOWING OF THE MOVIE....we saw a whole group of college aged kids all decked out in HP costumes.  Hilarious.  At first thought I just didn't get it but then I realized that if there was ever a remake of "Grease" released  I just may have to dress up like a Pink Lady and be at the 12:01 showing. Who's with me?!? 

*We returned Sunday night from our annual National LamKoons Vacation.  This year's vacation took us to TN, Stone Mountain, GA, Tampa, FL, Orlando, FL, Fort Walton Beach, FL, Mobile, AL, New Orleans, LA, the swamp of LA, and Memphis, TN.  I couldn't tell you about it ahead of time, you know for security reasons, but I will blog extensively about it in the near future.  Good times, good times.  After deleting out blurries, duplicates, and bad ones, I only have 685 pictures of the experience.  I know, I'm a disappointment to all mankind.  Hopefully, in those slim pickings I can also find some pictures to share with you.  It was a great time and as I'm home in my oceanless state I keep asking myself (and GI Joe) "why do we live in a landlocked state again?"  All I want is an oceanfront acreage where my cow and I can enjoy long walks on the beach and warm weather year round.  Is that too much to ask?!?  I think not.

Wish you I were here

*Speaking of blogging, which we weren't actually, but we are now, I feel like I'm losing my mojo.  I keep tossing the idea around of being done with the blog because lately it's felt like more of a chore than a fun release for me.  Probably because it's summer and there a million other things I feel like I need to be doing and only so many hours in the day and I may or may not have mentioned but mama needs her beauty rest so then when I neglect the blog I feel guilty and then neglect something else so I can blog and that too leaves me feeling guilty and it's just a vicious circle.  Much like that was a vicious run on sentence.  But on the other hand I really love having this to document our lives especially knowing that it makes people out there laugh and am 3000% sure that in 10 years from now it won't be the clean laundry or the weeds I pulled in the flowerbeds that I'll be glad I did, it will be the blog.  But right now?  My heart's not in it.  So here's what I'm thinking, after I post the NKOTB finale (because I couldn't bear the thought of withholding that goodness from you) and our vacation recap, I think I'm going to take a break from blogging.  This is really more of a mindgame I'm playing with myself because any other time I've said that, it's like I get my blogging mojo back instantly and I'm a blogging machine again, so let's see what happens.  This is picture sums up how I feel right now..

I appreciate you sticking with me, I mean where else are you going to read about banana singing, poultry porn, and Harry Potter all in the same blog entry?!? 

Happy Friday! 

Prairie Princess


  1. I love reading your crazy updates. I'm sort of jealous that you have that wonderful menagerie of animals and the land to house them, but I also don't think I'd have the patience to take care of all of them if I were given the chance. So reading your blog is a win-win for me - all the fun and none of the responsibility. :)

  2. But you can't stop blogging!!! Your writing is so creative and funny. Your kids will love to have this "journal" some day.