Adventures in a Maxi Dress

Oft times in the summer, instead of shorts, I tend to gravitate towards sundresses and maxi dresses (that's long, flowy, lightweight dresses for those of you not hip on maxi dress speak). I think it's because I'm feeling borderline too old for shorts or maybe it's because I like how comfy they are or how girly they seem or how they hide the one too many cherry dip cones I may or may not have eaten.

As it turns out, maxi dresses are not only comfy but multi-purpose.

Exhibit A: I journeyed to the University of Iowa hospital in Iowa City (Go Hawks!) wearing my maxi dress to visit my BFF Heather, whose little boy Brayson had been admitted there on Wednesday night due to an injury. Heather and her 3 kids had just made the 3 hour journey from Burlington (the town I used to be black in) to the Koons Zoo to visit the animals (oh and maybe us too) the Saturday before and had spent a fair amount of time chasing the “peatock” aka peacock.. When Heather told Brayson that I was coming to visit on Friday, his one request even in his injured state, “Can Howwy bring me a peatock?” I figured a live peacock visitor might not be welcomed so instead I put together a peacock feather bouquet. Imagine the stares and looks I got as I walked thru the hospital halls carrying a peacock feather bouquet and a balloon. I arrived on Brayson’s floor and was waiting for Heather to come and get me when I noticed that all of the nurses and staff down the hall at the nurse’s station were staring intently at me. I blamed the peacock feathers and continued to wait for Heather. She came and got me and took me to Brayson’s room. A few minutes later one of the nurses came into the room and said to me, “We didn’t mean to gawk but we thought you were wearing a prom dress and we don’t see a lot of people in the hospital wearing prom dresses.”
Maxi Dress Multipurpose Use #1:It can double as a prom dress. Who needs taffeta when you’ve got cotton?!?

Exhibit B: After hanging out in the room with Brayson (who was not much of a host since he was sedated), Heather and her husband Jody, I decided they needed some nourishment. I set out to go get lunch and a few other necessities for their stay in the hospital. Easy enough right? I think you know better. When I arrived at the hospital I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to what level of the parking garage I was on, I just knew I was in Garage #2. However, when I got to the parking garage, the Princess Mobile had mysteriously disappeared. I huffed and puffed my way thru all of the levels of the garage and could NOT find my PMobile. It finally occurred to me that I must be in the wrong parking garage so I found a way to get to the adjacent parking garage which I assumed would be the right one. Please note, I was beginning to “glisten” by this point as walking up and down a parking garage can be quite a workout. After walking thru several levels of this new parking garage I still couldn’t find the PMobile. I was exhausted, I was parched, I was delusional, and still wearing my maxi dress aka prom dress. I made my way back to the elevators because it was time to use the emergency phone located there. I picked up the emergency phone, dialed 0 for HELP, and then listened to it ring…and ring…and ring…and ring…and ring..and you get the point here right? NO ANSWER ON THE EMERGENCY PHONE! I was nearing desperation and beginning to look for an unlocked car to camp in for the night (even though it was only noon) when I decided I would try to find my way back into the hospital and start over, or at least force Heather to walk me to my car so I’d have company in my misery. I don’t really know how it happened but I ended up back in the first garage I was in and believe it or not, still couldn’t find my PMobile. There was another emergency phone so I tried again. Still no answer. The emergency operator must’ve been on break…which makes one feel very safe and secure in the event of an emergency. After approximately 45 minutes of wandering aimlessly in the desert, I mean parking garages, I found my way back into the hospital. Oddly enough though, this wasn’t a part of the hospital I was familiar with or had been in before AND the sign on the wall made no mention of Brayson’s floor, but ALAS there was a RED emergency phone. And this time, when I picked it up SOMEONE ANSWERED! Here’s a dramatic reenactment of that conversation:

Operator: Operator, how can I help you?
Me (out of breath and panicked): I’m lost, I’m alone, I’m afraid.
Operator: Ok, no problem I can help you with that. Where are you trying to go?
Me: I need to find my car. I parked in Parking Garage 2 but I can’t find my car! My car’s been stolen OR someone moved it! Please HELP ME!
Operator: Where are you now?
Me: By a sign that says blah blah blah (I can’t remember what the sign says)
Operator: Oh ok, so you were in parking garage 3 and 4 and you need to be in parking garage 2. To do that go this way and then take the elevator and then turn right and you’ll be there.
Me: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You saved my life!

Lucky for me her directions worked and soon I was in the comfort of my Princess Mobile, right where I had left it…level 3 of parking garage 2. Turns out I had turned the wrong way out of the elevator when I left the first time which lead me to the wrong parking garages. Huh, weird since usually I’m so directionally in tuned.
Maxi Dress Multipurpose #2: It can serve as workout clothes should you be lost in a dark, muggy, parking garage and have to walk up and down all levels. From prom to perspiration.

I'm a cowgirl..on a steel horse I ride, (in a maxi dress)

Exhibit C: When I finally arrived home that evening I discovered GI Joe and his father standing in the middle of the road just past our house, waving their arms. I was intrigued. I made my way down the road to investigate and found that they were trying to herd Mark the Farmer’s cattle back into the pasture. Allegedly, the cattle had popped the gate open from one pasture and had been walking down the gravel road or in the field next to the gated pasture and Mark the Farmer was nowhere to be found. And apparently that’s what country neighbors do, herd your cows for you if they get out. Cows on the road? That makes me laugh. Soon you will find me walking Holy down the gravel road just for kicks and giggles. I digress, back to the story at hand. They had successfully herded about half of the cattle back where they needed to go but there were still about 15-20 who were being kinda stubborn. But never fear, Prairie Princess was here!!! GI Joe directed me to a spot in the pasture where I was to “redirect” the cattle if they tried to come towards me so we could funnel them back towards the opening to the gated pasture. He was circling on the 4 wheeler “pushing” the cattle towards the opening where his dad stood and would then direct the cattle into the pasture. It was quite an operation. Apparently, I am the worst at “redirecting” cattle because after only a few minutes GI Joe drove over to me and told me to get on the 4 wheeler and circle around and back behind the cattle and push them towards him and his dad. Dressed in my maxi dress best I hopped on the 4 wheeler and begin driving at high rates of speed up and around the cattle to herd them back to where they needed to go. It was exhilarating; except for the hay I had all over me after driving thru the hay field. I felt like raising one hand in the air and yelling yeehaw but given my driving record, thought it best that I keep both hands on the 4 wheeler. I am proud to report that my herding efforts resulted in 8 of the 15 cattle being herded back into the gated pasture. The remaining were just dumb. They were frustrating me AND they wouldn’t let me pet them so I tired of their antics quickly. I turned the 4 wheeler back over to GI Cowboy I mean Joe, and he resumed the herder position while his Dad and I stood on the road to block the cattle from taking a walk. MY FIL gave me a quick lesson on how to scare cattle, by waving your arms high above your head which gives you the appearance of being bigger and yelling. Yes, it was as comical as you’re picturing it in your head. I, in my maxi dress, waving my arms wildly above my head yelling loudly, “Get in there you stupid cows! I’m so glad my HOLY COW would never act like this! Jerseys rule Angus DROOL!” If all else fails, trash talk. Eventually, we got all of the cattle in and my FIL congratulated me on being a real cowgirl. Later, Mark the Farmer called my FIL to thank him and GI Joe for taking care of his cattle and got a big ol’ chuckle when my FIL told him that I had helped…in a dress. I think we’re even now for those corn stalks I stole from him last fall. Editor’s sidenote: I am currently using this incident to prove to GI Joe that we need a herding dog, you know to herd our ONE cow. This is still under negotiation.

Maxi Dress Multipurpose #3: Who needs Wranglers and boots when you can just slip on a maxi dress and herd cattle?


Maxi dresses..... they aren't just for sissies anymore.

We Be Jammin'

A few weeks ago, when we still had 3 kids under the same roof, we took a little trip out to a berry farm www.berryfreshfarms.com. It was adorable. I have a serious case of barn envy, I mean how cute is that red and green with the little dormers? Be still my heart.

It was just the kids and I, as GI Joe was working or some nonsense like that. Our goal was to pick A BUNCH of strawberries so we could try our hand at making jam. The owner, a very sweet (no pun intended) lady, took us out to the strawberry patches and showed us the tricks of the trade. How to identify the perfect berry, where to find them, what types of strawberries were best for jam, the whole bit. And then she INSISTED that we sample as we pick. You don't have to tell my berry loving kids that twice. More than once I heard "this is like an all you can eat strawberry buffet!" from their little mouths. Not sure if that's what the owner had in mind when she said "sample" but we called it quality control. We spent a good hour picking and ahem..sampling an assortment of strawberries and finally decided our baskets overfloweth and it was time to call it quits. Not without a few more quality control tests of course. We ended up with 7 pounds of strawberries in our basket, and approximately 5 pounds in our tummies! The nice lady gave me instructions on how to make perfect jam while the teenage girl working took the kids on a Gator ride to "see the animals." Turns out their petting zoo consisted of an alpaca, a calf, and a horse. My kids kept looking around for the rest of the animals and one even asked the girl, "Got any emus?" So while their petting zoo didn't quite hold a candle to the Koons Zoo they've got us beat hands down in berries.

After the extensive zoo tour, we headed home to jam.

The nice lady at the farm had told me to buy Sure Jell and follow the instructions precisely for making freezer jam. Freezer jam doesn't require the use of the big pot with the whistle on top that may or may not explode in your face. I think we can all agree it's best if I avoid dealing with explosives, in any form.

I had 3 jam assistants. One in charge of washing the berries, one in charge of taking the stem off, and the other was in charge of measuring out the vast amounts of sugar that were needed. We followed the directions for freezer jam that were included in the Sure Jell package to a tee, the only variation was adding a pat of butter to the mixture and stirring it in until it melted to keep it from foaming. Who knew right?

About an hour later we had 12 adorable little jars of jam. It turned out the prettiest shade of dark pink. And isn't that what it's all about? Prettiness? Oh and it tasted delicious too. As evidenced by the entire jar that the jam assistants and their father consumed before the jam had even completely set up.

Making jam wasn't nearly as scary or overwhelming as I had thought it would be. Yes, I thought it would be scary, I had a very traumatic experience making pickles one year and have never fully recovered. But making jam didn't make me smell like a Vlasic for 2 weeks or stain my countertops a lovely shade of neon yellow so that was a definite win. It did however, make me feel so, like, domesticated.

Basically, you can call me Betty Crocker now.

Glimpse

Sometimes I get in a blogging rut where I can’t think of one single thing to blog about for indeterminate lengths of time, when then all of a sudden I’m brimming with blog posts. This is one of those times, the end of a dry spell and this post will give you a glimpse of things running through my head right now. Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games (and cherry dip cones).

*I heart cherry dip cones, like A LOT. Like so much that when I was very pregnant with Ryder in the throes of summer, we were out with our friends John and Trish and decided we need a cool treat from Dairy Queen. They just happened to be running a buy one get one free special. However, instead of GI Joe paying for his ice cream and mine being free, I ordered 2 cherry dip cones (one was free) and then a Brownie Batter Blizzard (as his free item). Yes, I was two fisting cherry dipped cones and saved the Blizzard for later, as in 30 minutes later. I was simply trying to provide my unborn baby with plenty of calcium for healthy, strong bones, I’m that kind of mom. Sidenote: I actually said to GI Joe last night, “I wish I were pregnant right now so I could have an excuse to eat 2 cherry dip cones or maybe even 3, except I don’t really want any more kids, maybe I should be a surrogate, willing to surrogate for cherry dip cones.” That’s a pretty solid reason to carry a child don’t you think?

I got this picture off the internet, I'm usually too busy devouring it to take a picture first. Maybe next time.

*Speaking of cherry dip cones, and I promise I’ll be done speaking of them after this, but last night while at the local ice cream shop, I asked for a bowl of the cherry dip, hold the ice cream. They laughed and went about making my cherry dip ice cream cone, apparently they thought I was kidding, I wasn’t. Then they were having trouble double dipping (per my request) the cone because the ice cream was too soft, so again I suggested that they just give me a bowl of cherry dip and a separate bowl of ice cream and I’ll do the legwork. For reasons unbeknownst to me they continued to deny my request for straight up cherry goodness so I’ve taken matters into my own hands. I may or may not have just ordered an industrial sized can of cherry dip from an online concession stand supplier. I cannot be held responsible for my actions when there’s cherry dip involved.

*I’m finally emotionally ready to talk about Tuesday night’s episode of Deadliest Catch. If you don’t watch Deadliest Catch, WHY AREN’T YOU WATCHING DEADLIEST CATCH?!? It’s only the best summer show on television. I watch very little TV in the summer but this is one show that makes the cut. If you watch it then you already know that this season is especially intense because it’s the last season for one of the captains. All I can say about Tuesday’s episode is…who knew crab fishing could be such an emotional rollercoaster? Wow. This show is magic. Also, I heart Captain Phil forever.

Oh and Jonathan Hillstrand too, mainly cuz he sounds like a pirate and has a mullet.

*We have not had all 3 kids under our roof at the same time since June 9th. First, it was Ryder visiting Camp Hilary (aka my sister’s house in TN) and now he’s home and Dakota and Blade are there until Saturday night. A few things I’ve come to realize in this time of (quiet) reflection; 1) I am an awesome mother when I have 2 or less kids, but all 3 at once..well, I think we all know what kind of mother I am then. Just keeping it real here folks, don't judge. :) 2) The house stays remarkably cleaner when there aren’t 3 kids here all at once to mess it up. 3) Even though the house is cleaner and the noise levels lower, I don't like it one bit. I'm not ready for a spotless and quiet house just yet. I thrive on the chaos and miss having all 3 here at the same time even if that means fighting and whining and socks everywhere. Please remind me I said that in a month or so.

*Yesterday, my father in law called our house to ask me if all of our animals were accounted for. I had just gotten home from work and hadn't done my daily animal wellness check so I told him that I wasn't sure. He replied by saying, "Well you might want to check because there's a swarm of turkey buzzards circling down in the north pasture." For you city folks or wannabe farm girls like myself, circling buzzards=bad news and something's probably dead. Isn't that so comforting? Ryder and I hopped on the 4 wheeler and went to make sure our llamas and horses were alive and well...and I'm happy to report that they were. I have to say that as a little girl, never in my wildest dreams did I envision that this would be a conversation I'd have or something I'd be doing. What has my life become?!?

Ahh yes, THIS is what it has become and why I wouldn't have it any other way. Believe it or not, I actually took this one, no google images search here!

*We celebrated Holy Cow's 1 month birthday this week. We celebrated this momentous occasion by, what else? Grilling steaks and eating ice cream!!! I proposed a little milk toast before I gave him his bottles that day. The novelty hasn't worn off and I'm still totally smitten. Holy Cow=Sweetest thing ever.

The End...for now.

Flower Friday

This is totally another cop out but I've been big into taking pictures of flowers lately. You know, flexing my photographic muscles. Turns out that like my actual muscles they are pretty weak but this one just makes me happy.

.

Especially, when I remember when and where it was taken. Sunday night before Memorial Day, near the farm pond we were fishing at. And by fishing I mean, I was taking pictures of flowers while the kids were getting lines tangled, snagged, asking to change lures and GI Joe was running back and forth between them all with that special vein in his forehead bulging. Even with all that craziness, we still had a lot of laughs, caught a lot of fish and made a million memories and really isn't that what it's all about? Ahhh good times, good times. This flower reminds me of the happiness of that night and NOT of that vein in GI Joe's forehead. :)

Memorial Day

What's that you say? Memorial Day was like 3 weeks ago? You should know by now that punctuality is not one of my virtues. Besides, I'm memorializing what we did on Memorial Day this year, so take that!

As is our Memorial Day tradition, we enjoyed a deck party with our church friends and family at the inlaws. Food, fun and fellowship, that's what us Baptists are all about. And we did all 3 of those...in excess on Memorial Day. We should probably change that to Food, fun, fellowship and FRY. As in, it was so sunny out that SOME of our church friends were still "glowing" the next time we saw them at church. I worked on my farmer's tan instead, you know since I'm almost a "real farmer" and all, now.

After the festivities on the deck wore down, I suggested to GI Joe that we take a drive out to the new Veteran's Cemetery that recently opened on the outskirts of our town. The place that every time we pass it, which is quite often since it's on the way to the interstate, the kids say, "there's where Daddy will be buried someday." Real uplifting,I know. Anyway, we drove up and man, was it gorgeous. All the flags were out (right side up, apparently some punks have been making a game out of sneaking up there and turning all the flags upside down) and the place was hopping. We took our time and wandered around just paying homage to those whose footsteps GI Joe is following in. I don't know what it is but just driving into that place puts a lump in my throat. Maybe it's realizing all the sacrifices that have been made by the men and women buried there or maybe it's knowing that my very own GI Joe will someday be among those, either way it's a moving experience. I never used to be such a sap, must be my old age. I was also so proud of the kids because they seem to really "get" the significance of that place and just took it all in. Me? I felt like belting out the Star Spangled Banner and hugging my family. I refrained from the singing, not so much on the hugging, but that's my perogative.

This picture alone makes me teary eyed. What is WRONG with me?!? :)

Is it wrong to pray that I never see their names on a monument like this? I'm just a mom I can't help myself.

As much as I love pink, there's just something about that red, white and blue. Not sure our flag would have quite the same impact if it were done in pink stripes.

This is the gravesite of a troubled young man that GI Joe enlisted into the military not long ago. The young man took his own life before he even shipped out for boot camp, for reasons unrelated to his career choice, but moreso to do with feeling overwhelmed by life in general. I can't help but think of what might've been for him if he'd just stuck it out long enough to ship out, what he might've become, the impact he could've made. So sad.

On a brighter note, I will also be buried there right next to my GI Joe and believe it or not, we've already got my headstone picked out.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Wordless Wednesday

Such a cop out for a real blog but it's bound to make you smile!

Holy Holy Holy (Cow)

Remember how last year GI Joe issued a Cow Challenge so that I could prove that I was farmgirl enough to take on the raising of a calf, solely for petting purposes? OK, so that may not have been his sole intent, he was probably trying to a) stall on having to add more livestock to the number of mouths we already buy feed for b) get me to do all chores for a month thus leaving him choreless and able to kick back and relax. Whatever his intent, I WON THE COW CHALLENGE OF 2009! My prize? A bottle calf, preferably a Jersey as I’ve always adored their big eyes and long lashes, not to mention that my extensive internet research had told me they were among the gentlest and most docile breed of cattle. Also, GI Joe had a Jersey bottle calf growing up named Champ. He tells us stories of how Champ would run to the fence when he heard the bus pull up and would be waiting there for GI Joe to come feed him. All together now…AWWWWWW. GI Joe was quite enamored with his bull calf named Champ until one day, without warning, Champ was sold at auction while GI Joe was at school. He was traumatized and heartbroken. My psycho analysis tends to think that THAT incident is why he’s been so hesitant to add a calf to the Koons Zoo fold, so I’m trying to help him heal from that traumatic experience, that’s the kind of wife I am, by getting a Jersey calf that will be just as awesome as Champ and whom will never EVER leave the Koons Zoo, and why would he need to leave since he’ll have his own bedroom and all?

So last summer came and went and no calf. There were a myriad of reasons why we decided to put it off until this spring and summer, and given the worst winter ever that we just survived, I’m so glad we did. Besides, THIS was worth the wait…..

Meet Holy Cow. I am completely and totally in love with him. The end.

What’s not to love? Big ears? Check. Doe eyes? Check. Adorable mooing sound? Check. Long eyelashes. Check. Came right up to me and stole my heart when we went to pick him up? Check, check.

I resumed my search for the perfect calf in April and spent over a month corresponding with the President of the Iowa Jersey Cattle Club. That’s right, there’s a club, and I’m in with the president. I may have to join. We’re tight now. She gave me lots of good information but ultimately we didn’t find our calf thru her. No sirree, we found him the old fashioned way…on Craig’s List, duh. Isn’t that where all farmers get their cattle? After about 2 weeks of talking on the phone with Farmer Joe from Montezuma IA , he had a Jersey calf for us. We made the 2 hour trek to Montezuma to meet our new calfchild. I was nearly as excited driving there as I was when we were driving to the hospital for the birth of our human children. We finally arrived and Farmer Joe took me back to pick out which calf I wanted of the 2 he had. I walked up to the pen and reached in to pet one and it took off so I immediately eliminated him from the running. The other one (now Holy) walked right up to me and let me pet away. I was sold. We spent about an hour just chatting with Farmer Joe and his farmer dad. And this will probably come as a shock to you but they got quite a kick out of me and my petting zoo/farmgirl aspirations. In fact, during the time we were there they 1) informed me of an exotic auction nearby that actually sold a zebra AND camels at their last auction (I'm SO THERE) 2) asked GI Joe to take a walk so they could try to sell me the other calf (after talking with us they realized I would be an easy sell for the 2nd calf as long as my budget adhering, stick in the mud, one calf husband wasn't around) and 3) made sure that I had their numbers saved in my phone so we could stay in touch and I could purchase future calves from them should the "need" arise. They were quite amused that this calf was solely for my petting purposes and that I had to complete a chore challenge in order to get him. It's kind of like in '92-'94 when I was black, people of color sensed that I was black underneath my fair complexion and blonde hair and were just drawn to me (and still kinda are actually) but now instead of gangstas in do rags it's farmers in seed corn caps. Oh how things change.

We got Holy loaded up in the horse trailer and I tried my darndest to ride back there with him so he wouldn't be lonely or scared on the way home, but once again GI Joe had to rain on my parade and insist that it wasn't safe and forced me to ride in the truck with the rest of the family. Holy endured the trip like a champ. He did so well in fact that we decided he'd be fine waiting in the trailer in the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant while we had some chips and salsa. And no, pulling a horse trailer with a 7 day old calf in it, into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant in a very non rural area didn't create a spectacle, why do you ask? :)

We enjoyed a delightful meal celebrating our newest family member (while he waited patiently in the trailer) and then finally made it home. It was dark but that didn't prevent us, I mean me, from taking approximately 7,000 pictures and trying his halter on him.

Bonding with their bovine brother

The next morning, a Saturday, I BOUNCED out of bed at about 6:00 a.m. to go give him his first bottle at the Koons Zoo. This was a momentous occasion, obviously, I don't bounce out of bed for much that early in the morning. Oh and don't worry I photodocumented it for you. You're welcome.

Here are the supplies needed for a bottle calf. Similac for Calves and a GINORMOUS bottle.

I got these for my birthday...awesome...no, really it was.

However, unlike Similac and Enfamil Infant Formula I have yet to receive coupons in the mail for this. Bummer.

My first time EVER bottle feeding a CALF...a moment I've waited for all my life. I'm SO SERIOUS!

Holy has to eat at least twice a day, 2 quarts per feeding, once in the morning and once at night. And I have to tell you that if my newborn human babies would've been this easy to care for there might be a whole lot more of them. I'm thoroughly enjoying this part of it. EVEN at 5:15 in the morning, if you can believe that. It's just so satisfying to be feeding and bonding with this sweet little calf who will one day be a 1,000 pound steer who will follow me around like a puppy dog because we bonded over all those bottles when he was just a babe. Corny much? We're already at the point when we walk up to the fence and start calling for him and shaking the bottle he comes running towards us, and that my friends, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even when it's pouring down rain at before 6am.

I've held off on introducing him to you for fear of jinxing it. Then we had a slight scare last week with Holy, but between Google and I, we diagnosed him with shipping fever aka bovine pneumonia. All I could think was, thank goodness I didn't blog about him yet because what if we lose him, I can't break that to my blog readers because I'm not sure they'll let me blog from the psycho ward and that's definitely where I'll be if he dies. Luckily, we caught it early enough and treated it right away and within 24 hours he was back in business, bounding around the barnyard. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm basically a veterinarian.

So there you go, that's the story of Holy. There are many more to come as calf ownership is brand new to me. I gotta tell you, he just might be my favorite Koons Zoo acquisition ever, just don't tell the emus. And in case you're wondering why my blogging has become sporadic it's because I've been doing a lot of this..

And this...

And basically, soaking up every minute of this dream that's finally been realized. Again, I'm being totally serious right now.

Also, this officially makes me a COWgirl...YEE HAW!!!!!

Future Wives of the Prairie

The other night I randomly started talking to the kids about their future spouses. Ryder was very willing to disclose his prerequisites for his future wife. I decided to interview him and he readily answered my questions but insisted that I write them on paper instead of putting them on my blog. I DID write them on paper but I reserve the parental right to publish his answers on my blog. It's good reading. My questions, comments, etc are italicized, his are in bold.
Ryder's Future Wife 5/30/10
Hair color: blonde
Eye color: any
Height: tall
She has to be a Christian, smarter than Mommy and doesn't scream as much (editor's sidenote: whatever)
Country girl or city girl?: Doesn't matter I'll make her a country girl. (like father like son)
Favorite type of music: Everything, mostly country. Definitely no New Kids even though I'm sure you'll make us listen to it when we come over to your house. Yuck. (he's dangerously close to writing himself right out of the will...)
Food: she will like pizza, sushi, chips and salsa, and cherry dip cones. (my kind of girl)
Hobbies: she'll like to play outside and to play wii.
Where will you live?: On a HUGE farm, bigger than yours, on that hill right behind where you live. (Show off)
Will she know how to cook?: She has to be a good cook and know how to make cheesy potatoes like you do.
Will she like to shop?: Probably but I AIN'T going with her. Unless it's to buy something for the kids.
Kids? What kids? How many kids are you going to have?: We don't know yet.
Wait, who's WE? Do you already have someone picked out? Will I like her? Do I know her? Is it Rylee? It'd better be Rylee, or lil' Holly, you have to marry either one of those remember?
*Eye roll*......and.....I'm outta here.

Then there was Blade. Blade's "interview" was much, much shorter. Here's what he had to say about the future Mrs.
Blade's Future Wife 5/30/10
"She will be blonde with blue or green eyes, tall. Basically just like you just less *hand motions* picturery." The End. (Editor's note: And by "picturery", apparently he meant someone who is not constantly taking his picture, which I may or may not do.)

Remind me to bring out this list at their weddings.