Farm Girl Stuff

I'm warning you now, that this post is going to be full of random thoughts that may or may not make any sense or be in any kind of order, but that's what goes on inside this mind of mine. Try to keep up. Here goes:


*I must tell you about my new favorite hoodie. I know, I know, hoodies are GI Joe's thing BUT my fabulous friend Cheri (see post "Sold") bought this hoodie for herself awhile ago and when she told me about it, I knew I had to have one too. Take a look. Never mind that I look like I'm singing opera, I'm not, just focus on the hoodie. The color is off in the picture but it's a lovely shade of light pink and says, wait for it,.....FARM GIRL! Yay! Thanks Cheri, for as usual, exposing me to new and wonderful things. I heart my new hoodie.




*Speaking of pink, that is what we were talking about right? After not hearing from Carhartt yet regarding my innovative suggestion regarding the pink Carhartts, I called them. I spoke with a lovely lady in the Customer Support area who had not yet heard of my suggestion and promised to make a call to the Marketing department to make sure they received my brilliant suggestion and photo. She laughed about the photo, I told her I was just trying to make it as easy on the design team as possible. That was after she told me that Carhartt did make pink coveralls. Ummmm excuse me, WHAT?!? Turns out in their fall line, they did have infant overalls available in "vintage rose." But they were no longer available and were only up to size 24 months. No offense to Vintage Rose but it was ugly and if they think for one second they are going to pass that off as my pink coveralls they are sadly mistaken. I politely told her I had no need for infant girl coveralls, that my suggestion was geared for women and we wanted a brighter pink. She assured me I would hear back from them soon. I'm sure it's just taking so long because they are waiting until they can actually send me the first pair of raspberry pink coveralls that will be debuting in the spring line.


*Thursdays are not good days for the Prairie Princess. I was finally recovering from Trauma at Target from a few Thursdays ago when the unexpected happened again. I ran out at lunchtime to run to the bank and some other errands. I was sitting at the stoplight waiting to turn, chomping on my sandwich, when a van pulled up next to me, and a lady stuck her head out the passenger's window yelling something. I'm always a little leery about rolling down my window to hear what they have to say because a) I never know if they are talking to me or not and b) I never know what offense I may have just committed against them i.e. cut them off, side swiped them, head on collision, what?. But she didn't seem angry so I took a chance and rolled down my window and heard her say that my tire was flat. Ahhh no. I hate airing up tires almost as much as I hate getting gas. (Remind me to tell you about my experiments in Fuel Economy Management sometime, those were some good times.) But after she said that I did notice that my truck did seem to feel weird, so I drove to the nearest gas station, and sure enough my tire was flat, really flat. I called 1-800-GI-Joe to notify him of the situation and tell him that for once I was handling it. He asked me the same question he always asks me when I tell him I have a flat tire, "Did you look at all of your tires before you got into your car?" And I answered like I always do, "Ummm, NO, why would I do that? That would be retarded!" To which he always says, "You should always check all of your tires before you go anywhere." Has anyone else ever heard of doing such a thing? So I aired up my tire and was on my way. Until I went to go home from work and totally forgot that I had had tire issues earlier in the day AND also about GI Joe's advice. Oops. So guess what? I was driving down the interstate when a car pulled up beside me and a man stuck his head out the passenger window and mouthed some words and pointed to my tires. This time I knew exactly what he was talking about so I stopped at the next gas station and aired it up again. This time it wasn't near as flat but it was definitely in need of air, which was good because I was about to do another experiment in Fuel Economy Management and it forced me to stop. That reminds me I'd better sweet talk GI Joe into going out to fix that darn tire tonight because goodness knows I'll forget to look in the morning and drive all the way to work with it flat which apparently is bad on the rims or some nonsense like that. (Please excuse that ridiculously long run-on sentence.) On a happier note, I made it thru the bank drive thru WITHOUT hitting one of those rubber pylon things they have so that people don't hit their tube system thing. They just don't make those drive thrus big enough for the Princess Mobile so I have marks on both sides of my truck where I "kiss" those on a weekly basis.


*We have new additions to the Koons Zoo. Normally, we don't start adding on til spring but have you ever heard what they say about rabbits and their mating habits? Pretty sure they aren't kidding. Our bunnies, Skunky and Snowball, found a way to keep warm over the winter that resulted in 3 adorable baby bunnies. They were born about 3 weeks ago and were hairless and looked like mice. In fact, at first we thought mice had somehow gotten into their hutch and had babies. Shows you how much the kids and I know about this kind of stuff. Until GI Joe, being the experienced farm boy that he is, pointed out that they weren't mice they were baby bunnies. So in an instant they went from being ugly creepy things to being adorable and sweet. In just 3 weeks, they've grown hair, ears, and are hopping all over the place. It's precious. And the best part of the whole thing is that the kids didn't witness the conception taking place. And that my friends, is a very good thing, because when they saw our horses, ahem, "dancing" a few summers ago it resulted in some very explicit pencil drawings from Dakota, and many awkward conversations about weird "dancing" and our "circus horses". How to explain such things to your children was not covered in our Lamaze classes, and I may have ruined them for life in trying to explain it to them. Oh well, they'll figure it out and if not, I hope their future spouses like to....."dance". :)

Holly's Follies

*Monday at work, I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the help desk located in Timbuktu, battling the language barrier to have them unlock my sign on account. My password contained a number and it turned out that my num lock was off. Good use of time there, genius!

*Attended a Fisherman's Swap Meet with GI Joe and the kids over the weekend and spent the entire time on the hunt for pink lures. I tend to be slightly vocal when shopping so I might have attracted a few curious looks and eye rolls when declaring a lure "pretty." My family was proud. But GI Joe did buy me a pink and purple lure that is guaranteed to catch the big ones. I can't wait to test it out. Yes, believe it or not, I love to fish! But only with my pink pole, pink chair, and pink lures. Pink really does work better. Oh and I don't bait my own hook or take the fish off. That's why I have a husband and 3 kids. It's good practice for them.

*My wonderful son, Blade said this to me after I was overly excited about the new hoodie (yes, I wear them too) I had purchased and was putting on in the car before our next stop, "Mommy, you are soooo weird, I can't even believe you're my mother." Believe it Buddy you won the Mommy Lottery!

My Funny Valentine

As promised…
I’ll admit it, I’m high maintenance and I’ve been that way for a long time. It’s just who I am, part of my charm if you will. Part of me being high maintenance means that sometimes, I have unreasonably high expectations of those around me. Unreasonable if you are that person, totally reasonable if you’re me.
Case and point, my first Valentine’s Day with GI Joe. We’d been dating for nearly a year, had been through 3 months of separation when he went to boot camp, I survived a road trip from Iowa to South Carolina with his parents to see him graduate from said boot camp (if you know his parents you know what an adventure that was!), and we were talking marriage, it was serious. Even though GI Joe is 110% Alpha Male with the whole soldier/country boy thing going on, he’s old fashioned when it comes to courtship and actually quite the romantic. Don't mention that in front of his Army or hunting/fishing buddies of course, but truth be told he is. While he was at boot camp, he’d wake up in the middle of the night to go hide out in a bathroom stall to write me letters. He wrote me EVERY SINGLE DAY of his training. And they weren’t just “hey how you doing? I am fine. We shot a gun today. OK Bye” letters. No sir, these were deep, professing his undying love for me, planning our future, all kinds of sappy stuff that I like to torture him with now! You bet I kept every single one. He's always been quite romantic so when it came to our very first Valentine's Day, the international day of love, I expected greatness. Poor GI Joe.

So rewind, 12 years to 1997, our first Valentine's Day as a couple. Valentine's Day was on a Friday I think and I worked in an office full of girls about my age. EVERYONE got flowers delivered. I kept thinking "I'm sure mine will be coming soon, knowing him he's got some grand scheme planned." Ummm not so much. Now here's the thing, I think having flowers delivered ON Valentine's Day is uninspired, overrated and a big waste of money, send them some random day during the year when the whole world isn't telling you too, it means more. But I think that day it was seeing all the other girls who I knew didn't have half the relationship I had with GI Joe, getting flowers and thinking their guy was the greatest thing ever when I knew that mine really was the greatest thing ever. And then being asked by said gloating girls "where are your flowers?" I was slightly grouchy by the end of the day and on the verge of tears to say the least.

GI Joe picked me up from work that afternoon, totally unsuspecting that he was about to see a very ugly side of me. He was being his usual sweet self but didn't have the dozen roses I half expected him to have. Instead, he handed me a single purple rose. Now most girls might've graciously accepted the rose and been thankful for the thought. Let me remind you I am not most girls. Instead, I silently accepted the rose and was strangely quite for the duration of our car ride. The whole time I was thinking "A PURPLE rose? He brings me one measly rose and it's PURPLE?, What am I his Grandma?" Oh did I mention I'm a bit of a drama queen too? But somehow I managed to keep my thoughts to myself, for once, and determined to not let stupid flowers make or break our evening.

Turns out the flowers were just the tip of the iceberg.

So in my head I had pictured our first Valentine's Day date to be at a nice restaurant complete with candlelight followed by going to see a movie, a romantic comedy, perhaps. I've since learned to share these visions with GI Joe. But we were young and dumb back then so I just assumed that he already had it all planned out and it would be perfect. He did have it planned out. Imagine my surprise when we pulled in the parking lot at the ROYAL FORK BUFFET. Don't get me wrong, I am a girl who loves to eat but a buffet for Valetine's Day? Turns out his church had a tradition called the Adult and Youth Group Valentine's Day outing that consisted of going out to eat together and then bowling. And guess what? That's what we were doing. As much as I love the people who were there that evening, it just wasn't what I had in mind. Amazingly enough, I managed to plaster on a smile and pretend to enjoy myself. (Editor's Note: In my old age, I've gotten progressively worse about being able to do this.) I was so convincing that GI Joe had no idea that anything was wrong until we pulled into the parking lot of the bowling alley. And I had a complete and total breakdown, sobbing hysterically and making absolutely no sense but I'm pretty sure I covered all alleged offenses including: no flowers sent to work, a PURPLE rose, Royal Fork w/ mostly senior citizens, and NOW BOWLING! I just couldn't fake it anymore. Poor poor GI Joe, he didn't know what hit him or who this puffy eyed, blubbering monster was in his passenger seat. In his defense, I had not given him any hints as to what I would like to do for Valentine's Day AND it was the first Valentine's Day he'd had a serious girlfriend to share it with.

Needless to say, we didn't go bowling. I don't even think he went in to tell everyone else that we were leaving, he probably didn't want to have to admit that his girlfriend was insane and possibly schizophrenic. We went back to his house and he spent the rest of the night apologizing profusely for messing up and I, being the gracious and classy lady that I am, let him grovel.

Here's what that very traumatic first Valentine's Day taught both of us that have been invaluable in our marriage:
1) I am very very high maintenance, and dramatic, and spoiled and he married me anyway so there's no one to blame but himself.

2) I'm a lucky lucky girl.

3) Don't assume anything. We've figured out that neither of us are mind readers, so if we have expectations for something we'd better say it.

4) That first Vday wasn't a complete loss as he's been trying to make up for it for the last 12 years.

P.S. I was over it about 11 years and 51 weeks ago, but don't tell him. I just got a trip to Puerto Rico out of it.

Puerto Rico Points of Interest

Grab a snack and settle in cuz this is going to be a long one. I'm BACK and I've got lots to talk about!!!
Because GI Joe is employed full time with our nation's military (hence the name GI Joe), on occasion we are able to take advantage of certain perks such as hopping on a refueler jet with a bunch of Air Force and Air Guard guys and girls headed to tropical destinations such as Hawaii and Puerto Rico, free of charge. I love this part of GI Joe's job. Anyway, our trip to Puerto Rico was one of those perks. In the past, we've taken the kids but this time we decided to just make it the two of us. Like I said, I think it was yet another attempt to make up for our first Valentine's Day back in 1997. I really will tell you that story eventually. But I think he finally did it, we had a fantastic time and the fact that it was 85 and sunny the whole time we were there didn't hurt at all.
You may or may not know this about me but I am a Type A planner, firstborn child, to the max. Sometimes it drives my family nuts because on vacations I have an itinerary for each day of the trip usually in spreadsheet format complete with prices, hours of operation, etc. I scour the internet and make a ton of calls months in advance to find out about the tourist attractions, history of the area, climate, and the best hotels for the best rates, always pulling my "do you have a military discount?" card. I'm not ashamed. Part of the fun in parties, vacations, major events for me is the planning. I know I'm weird.
I tell you this to tell you about my experiment in spontaneity. Because it was just GI Joe and I going on the trip and the Air Force peeps were being typical hush hush about the details such as exact time of landing, location, etc, I decided it would be a good time for me to loosen up and NOT plan or book anything, just to go with the flow. That's not to say that I didn't spend hours researching and reading about the island of Puerto Rico, finding out what the sights were, where to stay/where not to stay, hotel and car rates but I didn't BOOK anything. You have to know that this was a huge stretch for me and upon landing in Puerto Rico I was sure it was going to be the death of me. But we survived and it actually worked out great that I hadn't booked hotels in advance because we never would have happened upon the very adorable boutique hotel we stayed in the last 2 nights if I had booked ahead. The internet does NOT know everything! Don't tell anyone but the lack of itinerary was a bit freeing. Not that we'll be doing it this way on our next family vacation but for this trip it was perfect, even though GI Joe on more than one occasion had to tell me to relax and settle down. :)
Here a few of the highlights from our trip:
*Because we were on a military flight we had to sit thru a "pre flight briefing" in which one of the plane crew members said these exact words, "You'll find inflatables and oxygen masks near your seats but if we have to ditch the plane it's going to be a very bad day." I think he was trying to tell us that no amount of inflatables or oxygen masks would save us, it was so comforting.

*The Amazing Race like scene where we RAN, dragging our luggage, while dodging crazy Puerto Rican drivers, from one rental car place to another trying to find one that still had cars available. P.S. GI Joe and I will NEVER EVER appear on Amazing Race, while it might make for very entertaining television it would not be so great for our marriage. We did finally get a car, thank goodness.

*The $75 parking ticket received because we couldn't read all the Spanish mumbo jumbo on the sign. Whatever Puerto Rico, you're an American territory put your street signs in Spanish AND English, especially at tourist attractions. Apparently it said something about No Parking Reserved for some kind of Officiales. Anyone know what happens if you don't pay a Puerto Rican parking ticket?

*I saw a glimpse of GI Joe and I in the future when I overhead a conversation between a lovely retired couple one afternoon on the beach. It was getting late in the afternoon and the sun was losing it's bronzing powers so the old man turned to his wife and said "Honey, I think the sun is just about gone, whaddya say we pack up and head out?" To which the wife responded with "It's just between the buildings right now, let's move our towels up a little....ahhh there's the sun." The old man then just sat down with an exasperated sigh on his newly positioned blanket while she continued her sunbathing until no amount of moving towels would bring the sun back. Priceless and totally us.

*Having a policeman interpret my order for a TACO to the no habla ingles cashier at the taco joint. Seriously...TACO. Isn't that a universal word in the English and Spanish language? Apparently not.

*The near death experiences that occurred everytime we got in the car and attempted to drive somewhere. These people made my driving skills look like a professional driver's ed teacher. Scary thought right?

*The coronary attack I had when we were swimming at the beach and GI Joe dangled a piece of seaweed in front of my face and said "Look it's a sea snake!" And then he nearly drowned from laughing so hard at me trying to run in chest high water while screaming hysterically. Why is my fear of creepy things so darn funny? Strike one on VDay Revival mission.

*The tour of the Bacardi Rum factory. But you don't drink you might say. Very true we don't, but we were trying to do things outside of our norm (remember the experiment in spontaneity?) and the tour came highly recommended even for non drinkers. And it WAS very interesting. After seeing how it's done, learning the history of all the cockails rum is used for, and smelling the molasses that rum comes from for an hour, I could've easily become a lush. Good thing we're Baptist.

*When our shuttle bus carrying us and 6 of the plane crew to our plane on the morning of our departure broke down in the middle of a very very busy street and we were already 30 minutes late due to no fault of our own......awesome.

*Seeing an establishment called "Condom World" every few miles in certain areas. We didn't stop to check it out (really we didn't!) but I can only imagine. Actually, it's better that I don't imagine but still I think Puerto Rico may be a bit shady.

*The amount of pink houses. We didn't see one single normal colored house they were all painted in Carribean colors like sea foam green, sky blues, pink, salmon, turquoise, etc. And it looked very tasteful somehow. Maybe it was the bars on the windows that really set the color off.

*I would make a great Puerto Rican woman, except for the blonde hair and complexion, oh and my inability to speak Spanish. But other than that I could totally do it. You see those ladies LOVE shoes and jewelry as much as I do. They don't mess around when it comes to footwear, no sneakers or Old Navy flip flops here. They are all about the heels. I'm not kidding I didn't see one local woman dressed in anything but cute high heels no matter her age, what she was doing or where we were at. It was amazing. They definitely dress to impress.

I may or may not post a few photos of the trip, it will depend on what they look like after editing. It was pretty obvious that I haven't been faithful to Bob and the Biggest Loser Boot Camp in the recent past. I'm coming back Bob. Or maybe it was because I didn't get any retakes since it was usually complete strangers taking our picture, and it felt a bit demanding, even for me, to review the picture, declare it unsatisfactory, and ask them to retake it!

On a sidenote, thanks Iowa for welcoming us back with 29 degrees and wind. Oh yeah why would we ever want to leave you?!?

Blogging Hiatus

This is to inform you that I will be on a blogging hiatus until Wednesday 2/18. My dear husband, GI Joe is taking me to Puerto Rico for Valentine's Day. He's still trying to make up for our very first Valentine's Day way back when. And trust me it was a doozie. More on that as well as tales of our adventures in Puerto Rico upon my return. Hasta La Vista!

It's the Little Things In Life

Last night GI Joe, told the boys that they needed to put their shoes away and straighten up theirroom. You would've thought he'd asked them to scale Mt. Everest in the middle of an avalanche.

Blade: "But why do we always have to pick up our shoes and clean our rooms?"

Ryder: "Yeah why? We have to do everything...clean our rooms, pick up shoes, set the table...."

GI Joe: "Because that's just life."

Blade: "Well then I HATE life!"

Ryder: "Yeah me too!"

Oh yeah they have it so rough don't they? Someone call Protective Services immediately and get them out of this terrible environment in which they do everything EXCEPT clean the house, cook, laundry, feed the animals, etc.

I totally disagree with Blade. Life is good and I love it. Here are just a few things in life right now that make me very happy.

A man and his goat

GI Joe doing some goat wrestling

When we got home from work, Cocoa the goat was hanging out in the ditch. Again, what must the neighbors think?!? We have no idea how he manages to get out of the barnyard but it is pure enjoyment and entertainment for me when he does. Because that means GI Joe will wrestle him to the ground, flip him on his back, grab all 4 hooves, and hoist him back over the fence, while Cocoa makes some crazy noises. It's FANTASTIC. I couldn't quite capture the entire process last night but next time I'll make that my mission.

This is another reason life is good....my pink coffeepot and coordinating pink pig coffee mug. What's even better is GI Joe making the coffee in it. Just picture it with me, it will make you smile too. This just might make a morning person out of me yet.

And saving the best for last is the fact that my newborn niece, Kaydence, got to ride in the coolest Princess Mobile ever yesterday, when they transferred her to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. She rode in style to a place I am confident will give her the best care possible and give my sister and brother in law all the tools and resources to care for her. That AND it is the place that all the country stars visit regularly. A little star power never hurt anyone..... :)

Ridin' in style

Incognito due to the paparazzi

Life is GOOD!

Marvelous Monkey Bread

First things first, Kaydence was able to be taken off the ventilator today for awhile and managed to breathe on her own for several hours. Yay Kaydence!! Things are looking up. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. Keep 'em coming.

I think this news calls for a celebration. A monkey bread celebration. And not the ordinary monkey bread with the run of the mill cinnamon and sugar. Oh no, this is kicked up a few notches. This recipe makes even me, despiser of mornings, LEAP, out of bed! And the fact that it requires very little thought or preparation is also a plus considering I'm not coherent til about 8:00 a.m. and at least one cup of coffee. I wish I could take credit for creating this recipe but I have to give credit where credit is due. When my Dad got remarried, not only did I gain a fabulous stepmom but I also got her famous monkey bread recipe. It was in the prenup. Just kidding, but this is Evie's recipe and for that I will forever be grateful. Well, for that AND making sure my Dad doesn't leave the house in his 1985 red and yellow tiger striped Chiefs pajama pants ever again.

Alright enough talk, let's get to the action.


2 tubes Butter Tastin' Grands Biscuits (it's crucial to get the butter tastin' big ones)
1 pint heavy whipping cream (it's not the small school lunch milk size container, but not the quart, it's the one in the middle)
1 1/4 c. brown sugar


Preheat oven to 350. Grease a 9x13 pan. Tear each biscuit into 4 pieces and put in pan. Stir brown sugar and whipping cream together in mixing bowl and pour over the biscuits. Make sure all biscuits are coated. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until top is golden and biscuits in the middle are cooked through. When you remove from the oven you can either serve right from the pan OR line a cookie sheet with foil and flip the pan of monkey bread over on to the foil so all the gooey goodness is on top. A good morning is guaranteed.


And now you will love my stepmom Evie as much as we do. :)