Captain No Underpants

The other day after school, Ryder came running in to tattle tell me some important information.  I could tell it was going to be a big deal by how wide eyed and  out of breath he was. 
Ryder like a Russian spy about to divulge the nation's top secrets:  "Mommy, BLADE DIDN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR TO SCHOOL TODAY!!!" clearly anticipating Blade's swift and harsh punishment.
Me:  "Umm what?  Blaaaaaaaaaadddddddddeeeeeeee come here please!!!"
Blade:  "What Mommy?"
Me:  "Did you wear underwear to school today?"
Blade, looking sheepishly (and adorable):  "No.  You guys didn't lay any out for me so I forgot."
Me:  "Really?  You didn't think about walking over to your dresser and getting your own underwear out?"
Blade:  "I forgot."
Me:  "Oh yeah I do that all the time, forget to wear underwear..NOT REALLY.  You wore jeans today wasn't it a little um..uncomfortable?"
Blade:  "Nah I just pretended I had on really thin underwear."
Me:  "Oh well that makes perfect sense then, glad it worked. I'd hate for you to chafe. You're a goof.  Now go put some underwear on before we go to church Captain Commando."
Ryder:  "What does chafe mean?"
Me:  "When your skin gets sore from rubbing against your clothes."
Ryder:  "Blade did you CHAFE?!?"
Blade, inspecting the anatomy in question:  "No I'm fine.  What's commando mean?"
Me:  "THat's a relief.  It means when someone doesn't wear underwear.  Let's shoot for Captain Underpants instead though."
Blade giggling:  "OK I'll go put on underwear."
Me:  "Good, and we'll try to remember to lay out your underwear so you don't "forget" again."

Look at all the life lessons I just taught them about chafing and going commando.  Gotta remember to put that on my Mother of the Year nomination. 

Because I happen to love to dress my kids and am relishing this tiny window of opportunity where I can get away with picking out their clothes daily, I've created monsters.  Pantsless monsters.

All I know is that it's gonna be a little awkward when he goes off to college and I have to call him every morning to remind him to WEAR HIS UNDERWEAR SO HE DOESN'T CHAFE.

That's the kind of mom I am, the kind that wants nothing more for her sons than to wear underwear and avoid chafing.   

Oprah's Book Club...PP Style

Was anyone else disappointed by the “core shaking announcement” Oprah made recently? C’mon a half sister? That’s all ya got? I really thought she was going to “come out” and finally fess up that the whole Stedman thing is a farce and that her heart actually belongs to Gayle. Now THAT would’ve been core shaking…or not. Because let’s be honest, doesn’t everyone already think that anyway?




So I’m channeling Oprah today, minus the core shaking. Although speaking of cores, mine is pretty shaken up but not by Oprah but by Jillian. I finally cracked open “Jillian’s 6 Pack in 6 Weeks” dvd and have decided 2 things. 1) Jillian and I could never, ever EVER be friends. She’s evil. 2) Having a 6 pack just might be overrated. I’m thinking I’d get more use and emotional enjoyment out of a 6 pack of Reese’s eggs because really am I ever going to whip up my shirt in a bar and bounce things off of my hardened abs? The answer is no, no I’m not, for a lot of reasons. I’m still doing the workout but not because I think I’m going to have abs like Janet (Miss Jackson if you’re nasty) but because I don’t ever want to have to face that uncomfortable silence that follows when someone points to an expanding waistline and innocently asks when the baby is due. That hasn’t happened but I have a feeling that Reese’s eggs + the darn aging process + not working out=ever expanding waistline aka awkward pregnancy questions. So I’m being proactive or just active. And it may be the death of me, but when I die an early ab workout induced death, please bury me in a midriff NKOTB shirt and a side ponytail with a fluorescent pink scrunchie, but only if the ab workout actually worked. Thank you for your cooperation.

Anyway…

I have a new boyfriend. He’s handsome and black. Apparently what they say is true, once you go black you can’t go back. Settle down I’m only kidding.


His name is Ken. Believe it or not, GI Joe set us up. I know, I know, we’re so “modern.”
And with GI Joe’s crazed schedule as of late, Ken is pretty much his fill in and is with me all the time.

You had no idea when you checked the blog today that you were going to get such a scandalous confession did you?



Meet Ken.

I am deeply in love with Ken.


Since Ken came into my life on Christmas Day, I’ve been on a mad reading spree. He’s just so convenient and easy to carry around. In between matches at wrestling tournaments? I’ve got Ken. Waiting for Dakota at piano lessons? Ken’s there. After the kids are in bed, waiting for GI Joe to get home? Ken and I cuddle up on the couch.



Here are some books I’ve read recently either on Ken or pre Ken (those were dark days, so glad they’re behind me.) I’m always interested to know what others are reading so thought I’d share some of my recent reads with you. If you are someone who thinks that people who read books are “nerds” (ahem..Annette) then feel free to check back another day for a more tantalizing post. If not, read on. Also, I have to admit that I’m easily influenced in my reading choices by peer pressure, blogs, and the NY Times Bestseller list, oh and whether or not it’s free or cheap for the Kindle on Amazon. Clearly, I’m a deep literary scholar and you should trust me on book choices.

“Hunger Games”-I’d seen this mentioned on quite a few blogs as a must read, then saw it on the NY Times Bestseller list AND it was only like $5.00 on Amazon so..SOLD. It’s touted as Young Adult fiction which is great because that means little to no language or smut scenes but it still appealed to the adult crowd because of the characters and plot. I didn’t know much about the book when I loaded it on to Ken so just dove right in. You guys, this book was A-MAZING. And it’s not my typical type of book. I don’t really know how to describe it except that it was thought provoking, action packed, scary, a little bit futuristic and just sucked me in and I could not put it down. This is one of those books that as you’re reading it you’re casting the movie and envisioning how it will look on the big screen. Word on the street is that it IS being made into a movie, which I’ll have to see immediately upon release and then will be violently angry because they didn’t follow the script in my head. This was the first book in a series of 3 and I will be reading the next 2 books very shortly. I loved this book. I really need someone else to read it ASAP so we can discuss it in depth. Mmkay? Thanks.

“The Help”-this was a pre Ken read and actually the fact that I read it over the summer and am still enamored by it and even remember it, should be testament to it’s greatness. This book made me want to move to the Deep South , hire some “help” , serve them sweet tea and beg them to tell me their stories while I wait on them hand and foot. In a way it kinda made me ashamed to be white. Take that as you may but white people in the south in the 50’s and 60’s? Not so much our finest representation, just sayin’. This book has had quite the buzz for a long time now, and I’m probably late to the party, but if you haven’t read this book, do it. And don’t be put off by the boring cover as I was at first. Yes, I’m shallow like that, if the cover and the summary on the back don’t grab me I sometimes dread reading a book and that’s how I felt about this book at first. But then I put my issues aside and dove in. Am I ever glad I did. This book is probably one of my favorite books of all time.

“Same Kind of Different As Me”-this was another pre Ken read, even before “The Help.” I’m the type of person who reads a ton of books but rarely retains much about them once I’m done with them. So to make a lasting impression on me means a book was pretty spectacular. And that’s exactly what this book did. This book makes you stop and think, makes you want to be a better person, and puts things in perspective. If all that made you think it’s a self help book, don’t worry it’s not. It’s just an amazing true story about a wealthy man in TX and his unlikely life changing friendship with a homeless black man. Powerful stuff. This book made me want to drive around downtown, looking for a homeless man to befriend. This just might be my #1 Favorite Book of all time. For realz.

“Oogy”-I’m a sucker for animal stories, especially dog stories. This one is great. It’s no “Marley and Me” which was fine by me, because really my heart couldn’t handle another Marley story. Hand over the tissues. But this book is in the ballpark. You will fall in love with this dog and want to adopt him. But you can’t because he is (spoiler alert) still alive and in a very happy, loving home. Oogy, the dog in this book, reminded me so much of our very own Bubba with his near death experiences and rescue. I thought it could’ve been written a little better (because I’m such an expert author and all) but overall it’s a feel good, heartwarming story once you get over the being irate about the stupid people in the world who hurt animals part. I heart Oogy.

“A Thousand Tomorrows”-Karen Kingsbury is one of my favorite authors when I just need a quick, uplifting, inspirational read. Her books typically have common thread of people falling in love, overcoming obstacles or tragedy and then living happily ever after. OK, so maybe not that predictable and she is good at keeping it fresh and really in her defense she is an inspirational fiction writer so that is what she’s supposed to do. This book was different from any other KK (I call her KK cuz we’re tight like that) I’ve read in it’s characters, it’s setting, and even the storyline. I rather enjoyed it and can’t wait to dive into the next one in the series, because KK always writes in series. Also, I want to be a rodeo queen, that is all.

“The Walk”-My friend Dougie D. and I call ourselves book nerds and are constantly handing off books to each other. This is one of the authors that we both read a lot of and have deep, intellectual aka nerdy  “book discussions” about. It’s ok, it’s cool to be a book nerd. Doug gave me this book to read as soon as he got done reading it because he needed to discuss it with someone. I can see why. This book made me happy and frustrated me to no end all at the same time. It’s reflective, heart breaking, and did I mention FRUSTRATING?!? Uggh, I’m so mixed on this. Dougie liked it better than I did that's because he's a much nicer, more patient person than I am.  I wanted to write Mr. Richard Paul Evans and be like, “DUDE were you in a hurry to finish the book so you could go on vacation or what? Because it seemed like you checked out about ¾ of the way through.” Rumor has it that there may be a sequel and all I can say to that he was well rested from his vacation so he actually FINISHES THE BOOK THIS TIME. I’ll read it of course and report back.



And now I’m going to give everyone in the audience a brand new car!!! Yay! Oh oops, I’m not really Oprah.

On my to be read list: “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen, “Saving CeCe Honeycutt” by Beth Hoffman, “Mystic Lake” by Kristin Hannah, “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Piccoult, Paula Deen's autobiography because she's my hero, and some classics that I should’ve paid more attention to when Mr. Horn made us read them in high school English class. Sorry Mr. H. but look at me now I’m a real live BLOGGER! You must be so proud!



How about you? What are you reading or what recommendations do you have for me?

Talk nerdy to me.

*Amazon did not pay me to talk lovingly about Ken, although they should.  Sadly, they only know I exist from the number of Kindle downloads I've had in the past month. So Amazon if you're reading this call me, we'll work something out.   

Bedtime Prayers

In our house, prayers are said by the kids (and us too) every night before bed. I’ve decided I’m going to write a book called “Prayers from the Prairie Punks” full of excerpts from these prayers because oh my, pure comedic genius, and unintentional which makes it even better.


Ryder definitely inherited the “preacher genes” from his grandpas because his prayers are lengthy and winded and sometimes people doze off during them. No offense Dad and FIL. He thanks God for everything from the puzzle he put together yesterday to his friends to Holy Cow and the rest of the barnyard animals to his Pillow Pet to the supper he ate “cept for that gross stuff that Mommy ruined with mushrooms”. He’s more about the thank you’s than the requests which is refreshing. And in his sweet little Mickey Mouse voice? I’m a goner.


Blade on the other hand is more a man of few words. As he told me the other night, “God already knows what I’m going to say so why should I say it again out loud so you all can hear it?” Oh brother.

And Dakota falls somewhere in the middle, depending on the events of the day and the current temperature. For example, if it’s super cold outside she’ll spend a good 5 minutes praying for her outside kitties and animals that they are kept safe and warm and that the coyotes stay away and on and on and on and on……..Then she’ll gloss over her family, friends, blah blah blah and revisit the safety of the cats just in case God forgot in the 30 seconds she changed the subject.


Here are some excerpts that have had me muffling my laughter during bedtime prayers.

Blade: “Thank you for red gummy bears and for Dexter, my pug. Amen.” I’m sure God appreciates the clarification that he was referring to Dexter the pug and NOT Dexter the serial killer on FOX.

Dakota: “Thank you for 4H and for letting me learn lots about chickens and poultry. And help that one little chicken we have that I want to show win lots of ribbons.”

Ryder: “Thank for you the holidays.” One might think this was said during the Christmas season but alas this one just came up within the last week. By holidays I’m guessing he meant Christmas, his birthday and any other day that means they get the day off of school ie: MLK Day. Which coincidentally was the day he said this particular prayer.

Dakota: “Dear Jesus, Help Blade and Ryder to get better attitudes and to not play with my DS and make me lose my Pokemon.” God deals in Pokemon obviously. Also, isn’t there something about “getting the plank out of your own eye before pointing out the speck in someone else’s?” Just food for thought there Miss Dakota.

And last night’s hot topic?

All 3 (in various forms): “Thank for you Mommy NOT getting a ticket tonight and Dear Jesus, help Mommy to SLOW down.”


Amen.

Oops I Did It Again

and unlike Britney, I'm not talking about playing with your heart or getting lost in the game. 

(And now you'll have Britney Spears stuck in your head all day..you're welcome.)

I'm talking about getting pulled over...again.  It's becoming increasingly obvious that the PMobile is a cop magnet.  No, it has nothing to do with the operator of said vehicle, it's purely the vehicle. 

Or not.

Tonight, a Monday night, my least favorite night of the week because it involves chauffering kids to 123 different activities and locations, and I am unable to change into my PJ's and slipper socks until well after 7:30 which is completely UNACCEPTABLE, I got pulled over. 

I happened to be talking to my sister Hilary on the phone while driving down a lonesome stretch of a back country highway to take Dakota to piano lessons, not really paying attention to my speed but it felt slow enough, when I saw the State Patrol car coming toward me in the opposite lane.  Of course I noticed too late and saw the flashing as he quickly did a U turn so he could come say hi to me.  The good news is that I had time to slyly put on my seat belt (buckle up for safety, buckle up! perhaps I should've done that when I got IN the car instead of as I was being pulled over..minor details.)  The bad news is that I did NOT have time to reapply lip gloss.  No lip gloss when being pulled over?  Uh oh this was not good.  I pulled over and patiently waited for my sentencing.  Dakota and Ryder were in the backseat providing commentary such as, "Oh boy here we go again," and "What did you do now?"  and "Wonder how much it's gonna cost you THIS time".  Children are such a joy aren't they? 
The nice officer came to my window and asked for the usual.  Happy to oblige I handed everything over to him.  This wasn't my first rodeo if you know what I'm saying.  Except he quickly handed me back what I thought was my license and said, "Don't need this I already have a Costco membership, let's try that again."  Apparently, my Costco membership is NOT interchangeable with my license.  Oops.  I dug out my real license and handed it to him.  He then told me why I had been pulled over which was good because I thought maybe he just wanted to say "heeeeeey."  He asked me if I was aware that I was speeding and mentioned that I may not have noticed my speed since I was on the phone.  Uh oh busted.  He then informed me that I had been travelling 63 mph in a 55 mph zone and also that my rear left brake light was out.  I probably let out an audible sigh of relief because only 8 mph over the speed limit?  I am slowing down in my old age.  No mention of my lack of seatbelt or scolding for talking on my phone.  I humbly admitted my wrong doing and that yes, I probably didn't realize my foot had gotten a little heavy on the gas since I was talking on the phone and apologized.  He then took my information and went back to do his thing in his car and I took the opportunity to apply lipgloss..obviously.
If there were a comment card to fill out for the service provided by the Iowa State Patrol I would definitely give this guy high marks for his efficientness (if that's even a word).  He was so quick.  Maybe because he went back, typed in my info, saw my spotless record and what a law abiding citizen I am, and decided there were bigger fish to fry, hardened criminals to catch and to let this innocent chauffeur mom off the hook.  He came back to my window, handed me my information and then a nice big WARNING and told me to have a good night.  A warning ya'll!!!!!!  THAT'S what I'm talking about.  Lipgloss optional, and frankly I didn't know that could even be done.  And we still made it to piano lessons on time.  Talk about speedy, er....great service! 

My recent string of bad luck just might be broken, just like my brake light. 

Roll on highway roll on. 

When Life Gives You Lemons...

When life gives you lemons, make pink lemonade..obviously.

And then pour a big glass of it to drink while you drive your son to wrestling practice.

Then before you walk your son into practice, unknowingly toss your phone into your big glass of lemonade.

When you get back in the car after dropping him off, take a big swig of lemonade, only to get hit square in the mouth with your cell phone....swimming in pink lemonade. 

Fish aforementioned phone out of lemonade and transfer to a container of rice because apparently that absorbs the moisture.

Hope for the best.

Rice-a-phonie anyone? 

Happy T-ewe-sday

Happy T-ewe-sday.  Get it she's a ewe which sounds like the "ue" in Tuesday?!?  Aren't you glad I spelled that out for you so clearly.   Definitely one of my finer moments.  Also, doesn't it look like she's smiling?

There are few things I love in life like I love alliteration, rhyming, and play on words.  Hence my blog name Hillbilly Hilarity, my pen name Prairie Princess, and my cow, Holy, as in HOLY COW!  GET IT?!?  And I just cracked myself up.  At least I spared you the rhymes. 

Here a few Tuesday Tidbits for you (see how I just can't resist being swayed by the powers of alliteration?).

*I attended my niece, Savannah's, 4th birthday party on Saturday.  It was a princess party aka "ball" wherein Savannah wore a princessy dress and a crown and we were her loyal subjects.  So really no different from any other day.  Prior to the party, my sister asked Savannah if I could wear my princess dress too because in my family I am regarded as "the princess".  Savannah's response?  "NO, I'M THE PRINCESS!"  Wow, the crown doesn't fall too far from the thrown huh?  So instead of flitting around in MY princess dress I got to be the royal photographer and also the royal cupcake maker.  My beloved pink Babycakes maker got quite a work out as we whipped up about 75 cupcakes.  That Savannah knows how to throw a party!

*After slaving away all afternoon at the royal ball, we went out to dinner at my new favorite restaurant called Mi Ranchito in Lenexa, KS.  Listen, I don't just throw things like what I'm about to say out there, but I have to say it was the BEST Mexican food I've EVER eaten, and believe me I've eaten ALOT of Mexican food in a lot of places including a roadside cart in Mexico itself against the strict instructions of our tour guide, and still nothing compares.  The salsa was perfection and I may or may not have been drinking it with a straw and then the entrees came and I died and went to Mexican Heaven where I was serenaded by angels wearing turquoise cowboy boots and playing in a mariachi band.  I had the special which was a Shrimp and Guacamole Enchilada and OMGoodness.   The creamy velvety sauce had all kinds of vegetables in it so it was basically like I was eating a salad.  Never mind the quart of "champagne queso" sauce it was swimming in.  Then because we're a family that shares, I sampled Heidi's enchilada and I couldn't tell you what it was called but all I know is that I want to take a bath in the sauce that covered it.  It was a creamy white queso with spinach and spices and tomatoes and OMGoodness again.  Heidi had raved about the Cream Cheese Chicken Enchiladas that my godmother Nita ordered so I sampled those too (all in the name of science you know), and I've said it before and I'll say it again...OMGoodness.  The likes of which my tastebuds have never known before in any other Mexican restaurant....EVER.  And here it is 24 hours later and I'm savoring my leftovers and dreaming of a return trip to the land of  milk and honey chips and salsa. 

*The highlight of the dinner besides the glorious food, was when Heidi left her phone unattended on the table and  I hijacked it to send out random text messages.  Text messages announcing to her friends some of her new lifestyle choices.  She hadn't worked up the nerve yet to tell her friends that she was becoming Mormon because she wanted to become a sister wife OR that she has had a change of heart and now likes girls.  As her big sister I shouldered that burden for her (as her) and let the world know.  If only everyone could have such a caring older sister.  P.S.  Hi David!  Someday we WILL have to meet no matter how hard Heidi tries to keep us apart.  :)

*Dakota has decided she wants to show rabbits for 4H.  Great, no big deal and no trying to maneuver fairgrounds with a horse trailer attached.  However, since making this decision and signing up for that at the 4H meeting on Saturday she is on a bunny bonanza (I just did it again, I have a serious problem.)  She's read a book about rabbits front to back and that is all she wants to talk about.  It's gotten so bad that I just found a post that she posted on a gaming message board that she signed as "Bunny Breeder Out".  Reallly?  REALLY?!?  Apparently, she likes the alliteration as much as her mother.  But Bunny Breeder?  That's the best she could do.  Ugggh.  I have no words. 

*I know there are some of you out there who have a bit of calf envy and love my Holy nearly as much as I do.  I haven't shown you a picture in awhile so here he is in all of his winter glory. 

And my heart just skipped a beat, I love my cow steer. 

Have a cow-a-bunga day!  OK I'll stop now and I'll understand if this is goodbye forever. 

Hip Hop Hooray.....or Nay

In my 2011 quest for fitness I decided to expand my workout selection beyond just my boyfriend Bob.  Part of my problem with working out on a regular basis is my exercise ADD and how easily I get distracted and/or bored by doing the same thing every day. 
My search for a workout DVD to mix up the mundane led me to the fitness aisle at my Wal Mart.  This is a scary place for a girl like me, a girl who shudders at the "e" word.  The choices were many, ranging from Jillian and her 30 day kill you plan, i mean shred,to morning walks with Susie.  But I wasn't in to that, I wanted something I would enjoy, that I might be able to trick myself wasn't actually exercise.  And then my eyes beheld this...

Exercise disguised as hip hop dancing?  Oh YES, ma'am. 

I grabbed this  one and promptly left the exercise area.  And this is where I should probably admit that I actually got winded just LOOKING at all the exercise videos.  Miss Thang there had her work cut out for her with this out of shape student.

Fast forward to Monday morning, January 3rd.  My first day of waking up at 5am to work out before going to work.  Read that again and let it marinate for a second. 5am?  Me?  Working out?  There's just nothing right about that sentence.  I was pumped up and ready to burn some calories.  And by pumped up, I mean I could barely open my eyes fully and was ready to burn something but it was more like this blessed DVD rather than calories, but I digress.  I popped in the video and was ready for some good ol' fashioned hip hop music (Preferably New Kids or Snoop Dogg or Sir MIx Alot) to wake me up and let me get my groove on, all while burning off those darn Reese's trees consumed over the holidays. 

Here's where I need to interject and tell you two things:  1) No matter how black I thought I was ('92-'94) I am in fact, white, very white with no kind of rhythm or coordination at.ALL. and 2) I was born and raised a Nazarene pastor's daughter who wasn't allowed to go to dances for the first 16 years of my life, unless she snuck out to one with her friend Liz to her 8th grade graduation dance.  Because don't you know that ALL dancing leads to hot and heavy sex?  I don't know what kind of dances the people who made the Nazarene rules went to but I can assure you that at the 8th Grade Graduation dance I went to we were lucky if a boy and a girl actually left their respective posts along the wall to dance in the same 5 foot radius of each other, so hot and heavy would've been a little difficult.  I say all this to tell you this....THIS white girl can't dance. 

Oh sure can I get down and have a good ol' time when Annette and I are at a New Kids concert?  Oh yes, YES I can.  Mainly cuz we're totally making up moves and also because no one is paying attention to our dance moves when all eyes are on NKOTB.  It's one thing to just move to the beat but this Cardio Hip Hop stuff was a whole other monster.  And I do mean monster.

Before I even knew what was happening Miss Thang was whipping thru the "dirt off the shoulder" and the "stomp and throw" and the "knee knocks".  Listen, I've never claimed to be coordinated but this was ridiculous.  I'm quite certain I looked like I was having a Grand Mal seizure as I tried to imitate her moves. 

The good news is that I was definitely getting a workout, what with my arms flailing and legs kicking and such.  The bad news is that it became very apparent that I have no future as a back up dancer for New Kids. 

So on Day One, the first day of my "Get Fit" 2011 New Year's Resolution, here's how I felt:  chubby, uncoordinated, white, and depressed.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  :)

But I'm no quitter so the next evening, after I rendezvoused with Bob in the morning I decided to break out the Hip Hop Workout once again and go thru the remedial step by step break down of each dance move.  Wait, 2 workouts in ONE day?!?  Who am I?  I gathered the children in the living room to do it with me as nothing says family togetherness like the "Chest Pop".  It was only a matter of minutes before Dakota opted out saying, "Umm that's awkward I am NOT doing that," followed shortly thereafter with Ryder taking a  seat on the couch to observe while yelling things like, "Mommy, you look so weird doing that, I don't think you should do that anymore."  But Blade hung in there with me and we were getting down.  Blade is the one after all, who during football pregame warm ups was out there getting his groove on and caused the opposing coach to say "If that kid can play football as well as he can dance we're in trouble."  Clearly, he takes after me...or not.

The problem is I can do the hand/arm movements fine by themselves and I can almost do the footwork by itself, but putting them together for a complete dance move?  FUGHETTABOUTIT.  Even after an intense study session I still looked like a fish out of water with the flopping and stuff.  Blade on the other hand is ready to step up as the new Zac Efron in High School Musical. 

Yesterday morning, a Saturday, I woke up before everyone else because apparently waking up at 5am every day for 2 weeks to work out does make it a habit.  I needed a break from Bob so popped in the Hip Hop video.  Bubba was sleeping peacefully on the couch as I began my workout.  I began the Step by Step break down for each dance move (unfortunately, step 1 was NOT to have lots of fun. 'Sup NKOTB.)  You guys, I still CANNOT do it.  How do you get legs, arms, feet, and hands all doing different things, at the same time, to a beat?!?  At one point, and I'm not even making this up, the flailing and stomping and seizure like motion, woke Bubba up and he began to bark crazily and went running off towards the safety of another room where he wouldn't have to witness such monstrosities.  Then stuff started falling off the wall and I thought it best to call it a day before any more damage was done. 

I'm kinda giving up on ever being a Hip Hop Dancing Queen and my dream of Jordan Knight and I making a music video together wherein we have a Grease inspired dance/song routine.  Instead I'm giving this a try..

It's complete false advertising though.  See how it says Six Week Six Pack?  I've had this for 2 weeks and there have been no changes to my abs, whatsoever.

Oh what's that?  I have to actually take it out of the package and put in my DVD player and do it?  Huh.  But in my defense Jillian terrifies me.  Having her on my kitchen counter just staring up at me, watching my every move, every morsel I eat, is scaring me into submission though.  Maybe this week I'll actually attempt to do the workout.  My ego is still in a delicate state after the Hip Hop fiasco. 

If anything this whole experience has given me a whole new appreciation and love for my New Kids.  I stand amazed.

Eternally White and Uncoordinated,
Prairie Princess